breathless

Today on the stairs I saw haunted, spiritlike Name Deleted fighting with her hunter green coat. Oh pretty. Her hair--it used to fly around in heart-catching tangles --was brushed straight.

That is never a good sign.

I hid against the stairwell as though still afraid of being captured as Lissy's house slave. If my figure is teenagery (which it is) then Name Deleted is a preteen, lithe, plush, fuzzy, soft, a fencer's build, quirky small mouth like a character in Bridge to Terebithia.

The effort of choking back some tears made a strawberry rash form on my hand.

Name Deleted buttoned her coat. I felt naked. Hate hate hate: the girl I met in our last conversation: tactical, brutally naive and attached to a Name Delted I cherished up till now like two sides of a sticker. Raven.gaze no more in the bitter glass/the demons with their subtle guile. two trees.

When Name Delted called me I wished my human emotions could die and be redestributed among all beings. That happened during a commercial break of "their eyes were watching god". And Janey talking to that amazingly sexy Name Deleted in the feild. "I didn't mean no harm", she said. Janey's grandmother slapped her. "Child!", she said, "you don't need to know what harm is".

Name Deleted laughed. "Why, I'm glad to see your sense of irony hasn't suffered!".

And that is why I do not go into the Maccabees bldg anymore.

Current affirmations:

The PowerPuff girls--Sharon, Sarah and me--will take back my office next Friday.
I will hand-deliver my grades to Bernie