>And that is why ritual fasting is so inherently cool: You fade completely into the >existential background, allowing things that are not you to come alive.
Oh wow, that sounds super ominous looking back.
Let me back up. There is kind of a problem with my house.
Sunday night I was awake grading papers, and fasting, and being randomly naked on my bed ('cause I am single and I am young and I live alone). Then there was a rustling sound outside the bedroom door, like breeze going through leaves.
Now that is a strange sound to come from a hallway but it did not sound threatening. So I graded 2 more papers.
The leaves rustled against my door.
I thought harder about the sound and became very alarmed. Now, a tree rustling outside is nice and can be a symbol of the sacred presence of god. But the sound of a tree *inside* the house calls for immediate action.
I put down my papers and opened the bedroom door.
There was not a tree in the bright corridor. What a releif, I sighed.
And that is when a row of short, humanlike looking shadows raced along the wall.
They looked like Twa. But there are no Rwandans in my neighborhod, unfortunately. Also, in sharp contrast to the bush peoples of Rwanda, the shadows did posess bodies.
I slamemd my door and leaned against it to catch my breath and get with reality. The experience was a hallucination caused by fatigue: Anyone who has graded students' porfolios for 6+ hours knows that it's normal for extreme grading can mess with your visual acuity.
I reached for my pjs.
And that is when the light in my bedroom went out.
I calmly took my pjs to the hallway to get dressed.
And that is when the light in the corridor went out. My bedroom light flickered back on.
Yes, I said, dressing quickly, that certainly was unexplained.
All the lights in the house went off and on and off and on. I heard the sound of the light switches. When you live alone that is a very bad sign.
I ran outside to my car and drove to the Royal Oak all night Coney, where I now live.
Neal said that people who are having hallucinations do not grade 2 more papers or reason about Rwandan politics.
Roxanne theorized that what happened was an occult phenomenonw called dark elves. They are stupid and crave attention. They were attraccted to me because I am fasting and naked, and everyone who beleives in anything knows what that does.
Sigh. But I was fasting to increase my attunement to an infinitely compassionate, nameless god, which could definitely also be a tree, but not a tribe of unexplained shadows that sound like trees.
So at the coney island I ate:
a bowl of chili topped with sour cream and cheddar
a peice of chocolate cake
a milkshake
Current resolutions:
I will fortify myself against the unexplained with pizza and beer.
There is a place for sensuality in the war against darkness.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
current affirmations
cleaning the house
1. I will not allow things to congeal.
2. Spiders are not covered by infinite compassion of Ganesha.
1. I will not allow things to congeal.
2. Spiders are not covered by infinite compassion of Ganesha.
Monday, April 25, 2005
summertime
And the awards for coolest end of the semester moments are:
when I had my first sleep deprivation hallucination and it was a USB port. Top ten signs that your computer accessories are hallucinations: 1) they jump when you touch them.
when swear words got inserted into my paper as invisble HTML.
When I woke up with a reassuring sense of hunger and the need to take my clothes off for money.
when I had my first sleep deprivation hallucination and it was a USB port. Top ten signs that your computer accessories are hallucinations: 1) they jump when you touch them.
when swear words got inserted into my paper as invisble HTML.
When I woke up with a reassuring sense of hunger and the need to take my clothes off for money.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
reading question
IN Bridge to Terebithia does Jess get mad at Leslie for dying? I seem to remember him angrily refusing to look at her empty desk.
The book is at my parents' house on Green Lake.
HIlary
The book is at my parents' house on Green Lake.
HIlary
stacey's post
My friend Stacey's blog is primarily about how people feel inside. Yesterday she wrote a something that is so touchingly beyond me that I have to excerpt it here.
So. my friend Stacey wrote paragraph below. I did not write it. I think it is amazing. Stacey's writing is excerpted here so that my friends can read it and say "amen":
"love is not what we think it is. and yet it is. it does not look as we expect it to look. and then it does. it does not do cartwheels for us so we kick it to the curb. shut up love, you suck we say. it crawls back to us but we don't see it crawl. we only see it standing in our way, dirty from the gutter and we wonder why it is so smelly and why is its shirt ripped. love, you are sort of dumb we say. get out of the way. and it refuses to cry in front of us. it stands there love. it stands there and looks at us until we turn right left. what are you looking at? stop looking at me that way. i won't stand for it. and love looks and love looks and love says nothing. or maybe it says stop being stupid. and so we smack love. we call it names and we say love, you are not love. you are dumb and by the way you are ugly too and i hate myself-- i mean i hate you. and love opens its arms but we don't see it until we're ready. love waits for us to look up. sometimes we don't look up. and love loses patience. (it's love not fantasy.) love has bills to pay and sleep to get and it gets so tired waiting for us to catch up and understand. and then we look up w a i t l o v e w a i t. and it slows its pace and picks up its left arm, stretches it back a little with its head bowed and waits for us to catch up and swing in beside its warm gate, left right left in unison. till next time anyway". Stacey.
So. my friend Stacey wrote paragraph below. I did not write it. I think it is amazing. Stacey's writing is excerpted here so that my friends can read it and say "amen":
"love is not what we think it is. and yet it is. it does not look as we expect it to look. and then it does. it does not do cartwheels for us so we kick it to the curb. shut up love, you suck we say. it crawls back to us but we don't see it crawl. we only see it standing in our way, dirty from the gutter and we wonder why it is so smelly and why is its shirt ripped. love, you are sort of dumb we say. get out of the way. and it refuses to cry in front of us. it stands there love. it stands there and looks at us until we turn right left. what are you looking at? stop looking at me that way. i won't stand for it. and love looks and love looks and love says nothing. or maybe it says stop being stupid. and so we smack love. we call it names and we say love, you are not love. you are dumb and by the way you are ugly too and i hate myself-- i mean i hate you. and love opens its arms but we don't see it until we're ready. love waits for us to look up. sometimes we don't look up. and love loses patience. (it's love not fantasy.) love has bills to pay and sleep to get and it gets so tired waiting for us to catch up and understand. and then we look up w a i t l o v e w a i t. and it slows its pace and picks up its left arm, stretches it back a little with its head bowed and waits for us to catch up and swing in beside its warm gate, left right left in unison. till next time anyway". Stacey.
Friday, April 22, 2005
staring at my bookbag
Scene II. 319 State. Two minutes before class.
Enter: Laun.
Laun. Certainly my conscience will serve me to run from this Jew my master. The fiend is at mine elbow, and tempts me, saying to me, "Gobbo, launcelot Gobbo, good Launcelot", or "good Gobbo" or "good Launcelot Gobbo, use your legs, take the start and run away--
Joel made an airplane with his hands. Hilary you're going to get heartsick and you're going to CRRRRash, he said.
--my conscience says "NO, take heed honest launcelot, take heed, honest Gobbo", or, as aforesaid, "honest Launcelot Gobbo, do not run, scorn running with thy heels--
I kicked my bookbag.
--Well, the most courageous fiend bids me pack. "Via!" says the fiend: "away" says the fiend. Well, my conscience, hanging about hte neck of my heart, says very wisely to me: " My honest friend Launcelot, being an honest man's son" or rather an honest woman's son, for, indeed, my father did something smack, something grwo to, he had a kind of taste. well, my conscience says "Launcelot, budge not"--
Anything you might be feeling is perfectly natural and okay, Sharon said gently, now give me your cell phone.
"Budge", says the fiend. "Budge not", says my conscience. "Conscience", say I, "you counsel well"; "Fiend, say I, "you counsel well:" to be ruled by my conscience I should stay with the Jew my master, who, god bless the mark, is a kind of devil--
Watch it Launcelot.
--and, to run away from the Jew, I should be ruled by the fiend, who, saving your reverence, is the devil himself. Certainly the Jew is the very devil incarnal--
Launcelot was very special to the Jew while Richard was having his reign of terror on Grad committee.
--"and, in my conscience, my conscience is but a kind of hard conscience, to offer to counsel me to stay with the Jew. The fiend gives the more friendly counsel; I will run, fiend, my heels"-
I kicked my bookbag again.
"my heels are at your command; I will run" (Merchant of Venice II.1).
Shh. My students are at the door.
Enter: Laun.
Laun. Certainly my conscience will serve me to run from this Jew my master. The fiend is at mine elbow, and tempts me, saying to me, "Gobbo, launcelot Gobbo, good Launcelot", or "good Gobbo" or "good Launcelot Gobbo, use your legs, take the start and run away--
Joel made an airplane with his hands. Hilary you're going to get heartsick and you're going to CRRRRash, he said.
--my conscience says "NO, take heed honest launcelot, take heed, honest Gobbo", or, as aforesaid, "honest Launcelot Gobbo, do not run, scorn running with thy heels--
I kicked my bookbag.
--Well, the most courageous fiend bids me pack. "Via!" says the fiend: "away" says the fiend. Well, my conscience, hanging about hte neck of my heart, says very wisely to me: " My honest friend Launcelot, being an honest man's son" or rather an honest woman's son, for, indeed, my father did something smack, something grwo to, he had a kind of taste. well, my conscience says "Launcelot, budge not"--
Anything you might be feeling is perfectly natural and okay, Sharon said gently, now give me your cell phone.
"Budge", says the fiend. "Budge not", says my conscience. "Conscience", say I, "you counsel well"; "Fiend, say I, "you counsel well:" to be ruled by my conscience I should stay with the Jew my master, who, god bless the mark, is a kind of devil--
Watch it Launcelot.
--and, to run away from the Jew, I should be ruled by the fiend, who, saving your reverence, is the devil himself. Certainly the Jew is the very devil incarnal--
Launcelot was very special to the Jew while Richard was having his reign of terror on Grad committee.
--"and, in my conscience, my conscience is but a kind of hard conscience, to offer to counsel me to stay with the Jew. The fiend gives the more friendly counsel; I will run, fiend, my heels"-
I kicked my bookbag again.
"my heels are at your command; I will run" (Merchant of Venice II.1).
Shh. My students are at the door.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
sky blue
My Lauren Hill CD was just found under my bed, but not by me.
Mm? I thought I lent it to fjr....
There is a sky blue sundress in the window on Kercheval. bare shoulders. laces up the back. Maybe someday I will wear it into the office.
Mm? I thought I lent it to fjr....
There is a sky blue sundress in the window on Kercheval. bare shoulders. laces up the back. Maybe someday I will wear it into the office.
breathless
Today on the stairs I saw haunted, spiritlike Name Deleted fighting with her hunter green coat. Oh pretty. Her hair--it used to fly around in heart-catching tangles --was brushed straight.
That is never a good sign.
I hid against the stairwell as though still afraid of being captured as Lissy's house slave. If my figure is teenagery (which it is) then Name Deleted is a preteen, lithe, plush, fuzzy, soft, a fencer's build, quirky small mouth like a character in Bridge to Terebithia.
The effort of choking back some tears made a strawberry rash form on my hand.
Name Deleted buttoned her coat. I felt naked. Hate hate hate: the girl I met in our last conversation: tactical, brutally naive and attached to a Name Delted I cherished up till now like two sides of a sticker. Raven.gaze no more in the bitter glass/the demons with their subtle guile. two trees.
When Name Delted called me I wished my human emotions could die and be redestributed among all beings. That happened during a commercial break of "their eyes were watching god". And Janey talking to that amazingly sexy Name Deleted in the feild. "I didn't mean no harm", she said. Janey's grandmother slapped her. "Child!", she said, "you don't need to know what harm is".
Name Deleted laughed. "Why, I'm glad to see your sense of irony hasn't suffered!".
And that is why I do not go into the Maccabees bldg anymore.
Current affirmations:
The PowerPuff girls--Sharon, Sarah and me--will take back my office next Friday.
I will hand-deliver my grades to Bernie
That is never a good sign.
I hid against the stairwell as though still afraid of being captured as Lissy's house slave. If my figure is teenagery (which it is) then Name Deleted is a preteen, lithe, plush, fuzzy, soft, a fencer's build, quirky small mouth like a character in Bridge to Terebithia.
The effort of choking back some tears made a strawberry rash form on my hand.
Name Deleted buttoned her coat. I felt naked. Hate hate hate: the girl I met in our last conversation: tactical, brutally naive and attached to a Name Delted I cherished up till now like two sides of a sticker. Raven.gaze no more in the bitter glass/the demons with their subtle guile. two trees.
When Name Delted called me I wished my human emotions could die and be redestributed among all beings. That happened during a commercial break of "their eyes were watching god". And Janey talking to that amazingly sexy Name Deleted in the feild. "I didn't mean no harm", she said. Janey's grandmother slapped her. "Child!", she said, "you don't need to know what harm is".
Name Deleted laughed. "Why, I'm glad to see your sense of irony hasn't suffered!".
And that is why I do not go into the Maccabees bldg anymore.
Current affirmations:
The PowerPuff girls--Sharon, Sarah and me--will take back my office next Friday.
I will hand-deliver my grades to Bernie
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
vanity
and then Lissy Sklar pressed me against the wall.
Lissy:Hilary...(she said dangerously) ...I was checking all the TAs ratings on rate my professors.com. And honey, you got a chili pepper!
I'm sure that Benedict XVI will forgive me for this
if I forgive him
for saying that it is an inherent moral sin to make out with girls.
http://ratemyprofessors.com/SelectTeacher.jsp?sid=1150&orderby=TLName&letter=W
{please check out my students' comments as well as the hard-earned pepper}
Lissy:Hilary...(she said dangerously) ...I was checking all the TAs ratings on rate my professors.com. And honey, you got a chili pepper!
I'm sure that Benedict XVI will forgive me for this
if I forgive him
for saying that it is an inherent moral sin to make out with girls.
http://ratemyprofessors.com/SelectTeacher.jsp?sid=1150&orderby=TLName&letter=W
{please check out my students' comments as well as the hard-earned pepper}
god is cool
pastor: but that's the thing about God: he doesn't care if you're cool or not.
Hilary: Aw, He should.
pastor: God is all-seeing and all-knowing. Why should He care about being cool?
Hilary: because God should try to be the kind of being I would want to get stoned with the day after school ends. No, ON the last day of school.
pastor: Huh.
Hilary: How am I going to relax and tell the Old Testament God about this guy I want to make out with at the top of KP library if He can't stop zapping His chosen people!
pastor: but God already knows what is in your heart.
Hilary: But I don't think God's infinite knowledge is relevant to my salvation. The point is not if God knows what's in my heart or not. The point is what I chose to tell him.
pastor: I hope you will think about what we talked about today and accept Jesus into your heart.
Pastors always act like the point of spiritual enlightenment is to agree that everything God says and does is perfect.
But it's so annoying to be in a relationship with someone who always agrees with you, even if you *are* right! Maybe God thinks of his creations like we think of model airplanes. He wants us eventually to fly but it is sooo cool when we crash. Smash. Whooosh. Swear. Rebuild.
Hilary: Aw, He should.
pastor: God is all-seeing and all-knowing. Why should He care about being cool?
Hilary: because God should try to be the kind of being I would want to get stoned with the day after school ends. No, ON the last day of school.
pastor: Huh.
Hilary: How am I going to relax and tell the Old Testament God about this guy I want to make out with at the top of KP library if He can't stop zapping His chosen people!
pastor: but God already knows what is in your heart.
Hilary: But I don't think God's infinite knowledge is relevant to my salvation. The point is not if God knows what's in my heart or not. The point is what I chose to tell him.
pastor: I hope you will think about what we talked about today and accept Jesus into your heart.
Pastors always act like the point of spiritual enlightenment is to agree that everything God says and does is perfect.
But it's so annoying to be in a relationship with someone who always agrees with you, even if you *are* right! Maybe God thinks of his creations like we think of model airplanes. He wants us eventually to fly but it is sooo cool when we crash. Smash. Whooosh. Swear. Rebuild.
being pretty: advantages
Advantages of being pretty:
Not worrying about what you look like frees up a lot of mental disk space for questions like, is Benedict XVI dead yet?
Not worrying about what you look like frees up a lot of mental disk space for questions like, is Benedict XVI dead yet?
Monday, April 18, 2005
poem
"index"
Snow bank:// Notebook computer/ exotic dancer/ drug war/
non-renewal.
Cement wall. Melted chart. Explanatory memo.
Notice to quit.txt. Open-ended microbraids.
Abandoned warehouse. The leaves/his hands. Culture of
silence. (parking meter. fire hazard. neighbor's lawn.jpg).
friend's boyfriend> Francie's sherpa> a lark> on Groesbeck>
programmable lock.
Snow bank:// Notebook computer/ exotic dancer/ drug war/
non-renewal.
Cement wall. Melted chart. Explanatory memo.
Notice to quit.txt. Open-ended microbraids.
Abandoned warehouse. The leaves/his hands. Culture of
silence. (parking meter. fire hazard. neighbor's lawn.jpg).
friend's boyfriend> Francie's sherpa> a lark> on Groesbeck>
programmable lock.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
SOS
coordinates: homeless on WSU campus {22 hrs}
current resolutions: Chris, Jake and me can break into structure 1 and hotwire my car before midnight and also not get arrested.
p.s. no car keys
no cash
no id
phone dead
current resolutions: Chris, Jake and me can break into structure 1 and hotwire my car before midnight and also not get arrested.
p.s. no car keys
no cash
no id
phone dead
Friday, April 15, 2005
my relationships
body type: mini sock monkey
ideal girlfriend: Jim Hallemann
ideal boyfriend: virtual pet
new friends:
Julie Paul
Stacy Muzinski
Sean Mars
Mitchell
Friends in time out:
Trish Harris
Francie Ranney
Mike Weyner (High school best friend)
Sarah Grogan (elementary school friend I had crush on)
Friends recovered from time out:
Justin Vidovic
Hillary Noyes (best friend from kindergarten)
Ken Morris
ideal girlfriend: Jim Hallemann
ideal boyfriend: virtual pet
new friends:
Julie Paul
Stacy Muzinski
Sean Mars
Mitchell
Friends in time out:
Trish Harris
Francie Ranney
Mike Weyner (High school best friend)
Sarah Grogan (elementary school friend I had crush on)
Friends recovered from time out:
Justin Vidovic
Hillary Noyes (best friend from kindergarten)
Ken Morris
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Woo-HOO!
Decontextualized saltine is a googlewhack.
procedure:
Working from an initial search for decontextualized mayo (12 results), I whacked down a list of stuff that is normally found at condiment bars: decontextualized sugar/ decontextualized pepper/ decontextualized salitine.
procedure:
Working from an initial search for decontextualized mayo (12 results), I whacked down a list of stuff that is normally found at condiment bars: decontextualized sugar/ decontextualized pepper/ decontextualized salitine.
Cass and Palmer
Fashion theme: labor rights
clothes: stuff Neal, Jake and Chris left at my house
point of fashion: GEO buttons on pants cuffs
current project(s): carrying Sharon's posterboard
clothes: stuff Neal, Jake and Chris left at my house
point of fashion: GEO buttons on pants cuffs
current project(s): carrying Sharon's posterboard
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
paper title and topic
Spamming and the Struggle for Private Life: A cultural history of the anti-spam movement.
mirror site
seeing myself through Stace's blog:
>remember hilary? i told you about her some time ago. about how her gettin goin with >people seemed fraught with...i don't know...soft stress...
>maybe hilary says this to all the girls -- you know, ice breaker. she's more brainy >and analytical than touch-feely-emotional. sometimes it's hard, the beginning. >people come to expect certain things, i guess.
The most elegant thing about this self-description is that it is annexed onto--is channeled through--Stacey's pastel voice.
Hilary
>remember hilary? i told you about her some time ago. about how her gettin goin with >people seemed fraught with...i don't know...soft stress...
>maybe hilary says this to all the girls -- you know, ice breaker. she's more brainy >and analytical than touch-feely-emotional. sometimes it's hard, the beginning. >people come to expect certain things, i guess.
The most elegant thing about this self-description is that it is annexed onto--is channeled through--Stacey's pastel voice.
Hilary
furry germs
Am totally overwhelmed by this website:
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/
Warning: website sells stuffed animals that look like microbes.
Oh yay. Oooooh yay. I can't remember my name. I just want to lay down.
Hilary
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/
Warning: website sells stuffed animals that look like microbes.
Oh yay. Oooooh yay. I can't remember my name. I just want to lay down.
Hilary
current affirmations
My ritualistic behaviors are not inherently disfiguring.
Fashion theme: casual backlash
point of fashion: amorphous
Think: Eddie Bauer drops finals week gear.
Fashion theme: casual backlash
point of fashion: amorphous
Think: Eddie Bauer drops finals week gear.
current affirmations
Hilary Ward is not a googlewhack.
Images tagged as Hilary Ward:
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&q=%22Hilary+Ward%22
Images tagged as Hilary Ward:
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&q=%22Hilary+Ward%22
statistics
Stacy,
I love your blog. It iss very supple and impressionistic, and contains valuable information about how people feel.
Hilary Anne Ward, 5'6" 116 lbs
Age 24 years 13 days 10 hours 7 minutes
No,
8 minutes.
Hilary
I love your blog. It iss very supple and impressionistic, and contains valuable information about how people feel.
Hilary Anne Ward, 5'6" 116 lbs
Age 24 years 13 days 10 hours 7 minutes
No,
8 minutes.
Hilary
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
current affirmations {ethics of googlewhacking}
Current affirmations
1."Nerd pride" is not a googlewhack. 486 results.
http://www.dailyfreepress.com/news/2005/03/03/Opinion/Nerd-Renaissance.Is.Here-884212.shtml
2."Autistic drivers" is not a googlewhack. 38000 results.
3.Sometimes even quotation marks can be unfair.
4. There is a nuance of meaning that separates sine qua non from googlewhack.
1."Nerd pride" is not a googlewhack. 486 results.
http://www.dailyfreepress.com/news/2005/03/03/Opinion/Nerd-Renaissance.Is.Here-884212.shtml
2."Autistic drivers" is not a googlewhack. 38000 results.
3.Sometimes even quotation marks can be unfair.
4. There is a nuance of meaning that separates sine qua non from googlewhack.
Neal squared
When Neal got sick, Julie and I finally theorized the phenomena of Friend Multiplication:
Hilary: Julie! ! Neal is feeling all better.
Julie: Wow. Was Neal sick?
Hilary: ?! He didn't tell you about the blood and mucus and--
Julie: Good god. No.
(pause)
Julie: He just said that he was "not feeling well" and needed to reschedule. that was Thursday. I didn't know he had, like, Ebola.
Hilary: With blood and--
Julie: I know. I guess the moral of the story is,
Hilary: I'll never know your friend Neal and you'll never know mine!
Julie: Yeah! Mine cuts salad veggies on a bias...
Hilary: And I get the one that is covered in snot!
Hilary: Julie! ! Neal is feeling all better.
Julie: Wow. Was Neal sick?
Hilary: ?! He didn't tell you about the blood and mucus and--
Julie: Good god. No.
(pause)
Julie: He just said that he was "not feeling well" and needed to reschedule. that was Thursday. I didn't know he had, like, Ebola.
Hilary: With blood and--
Julie: I know. I guess the moral of the story is,
Hilary: I'll never know your friend Neal and you'll never know mine!
Julie: Yeah! Mine cuts salad veggies on a bias...
Hilary: And I get the one that is covered in snot!
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Friday, April 08, 2005
wired stars
black holes in online writing environments.
This website got sucked into the event horizon:
"A virtual tour of a black hole"
http://amazing-space.stsci.edu/resources/explorations/blackholes/
Less technological and more imaginative:
"Virtual trips to Black Holes: A review"
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/htmltest/rjn_bht.html
This is rather a portfolio than a tour, but the images are cool:
"virtual tour"
http://cse.ssl.berkeley.edu/hessi_epo/html/nonsolar_pics.html
"fuzzball" theory+ neato JPG:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/03/040304073931.htm
Current affirmations: My friends DO want to co-author a tactile and mathematically accurate tour of a collapsed star. They're just not suggesting it out of politeness.
This website got sucked into the event horizon:
"A virtual tour of a black hole"
http://amazing-space.stsci.edu/resources/explorations/blackholes/
Less technological and more imaginative:
"Virtual trips to Black Holes: A review"
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/htmltest/rjn_bht.html
This is rather a portfolio than a tour, but the images are cool:
"virtual tour"
http://cse.ssl.berkeley.edu/hessi_epo/html/nonsolar_pics.html
"fuzzball" theory+ neato JPG:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/03/040304073931.htm
Current affirmations: My friends DO want to co-author a tactile and mathematically accurate tour of a collapsed star. They're just not suggesting it out of politeness.
my beo-life
In the spirit of abysmal personal writing on webblogs,
Today Chris and I sent each other Beo-emails about our lives. Here is the ending of mine:
>Now Hilly is banished from her building //a foreigner on
her floor
>or outcast in the office// a landlord's neighbor
>princess of peace //off Groesbeck.
>Solice.
When the blogosphere gets overcast, that is a sign to be in the street looking for a brighter day. Time going to go serenely gnaw my pita.
HIlary
Today Chris and I sent each other Beo-emails about our lives. Here is the ending of mine:
>Now Hilly is banished from her building //a foreigner on
her floor
>or outcast in the office// a landlord's neighbor
>princess of peace //off Groesbeck.
>Solice.
When the blogosphere gets overcast, that is a sign to be in the street looking for a brighter day. Time going to go serenely gnaw my pita.
HIlary
daydreaming
My end of the semester fantasy shopping list:
1) tray of "ends" from Shatila pastry
2) 1 joint
3) spirit gum
4) root string
5) Gulab Jamun recipe
6) tribe called quest cd (replacement)
7) "How to solve problems with sticky notes" (book replacement).
8) 6 pack of Bell's amber ale
9) "Elegant Universe" video about String theory.
Here is how I plan to spend the first 2 days of Summer Break:
1) my first project is: pinchbraiding my hair. Pinchbraiding is an ecofriendly hair extension method where you braid in loose extensions approximately 1/8 inches from the root. The root braids are supposed to be invisible but I am not going to stress if they show.
2) That will take many hours. I am going to have to be stoned.
3) I can watch Elegant Universe while I do the pinchbraids.
4) "How to solve problems with sticky notes" will be there when microgrooming becomes tedious.
5) And Sharon and Neal will come over because of the amber ale. Warning to self: they might bring their own CDs.
This is what is meant by a celibate lifestyle.
Hilary
1) tray of "ends" from Shatila pastry
2) 1 joint
3) spirit gum
4) root string
5) Gulab Jamun recipe
6) tribe called quest cd (replacement)
7) "How to solve problems with sticky notes" (book replacement).
8) 6 pack of Bell's amber ale
9) "Elegant Universe" video about String theory.
Here is how I plan to spend the first 2 days of Summer Break:
1) my first project is: pinchbraiding my hair. Pinchbraiding is an ecofriendly hair extension method where you braid in loose extensions approximately 1/8 inches from the root. The root braids are supposed to be invisible but I am not going to stress if they show.
2) That will take many hours. I am going to have to be stoned.
3) I can watch Elegant Universe while I do the pinchbraids.
4) "How to solve problems with sticky notes" will be there when microgrooming becomes tedious.
5) And Sharon and Neal will come over because of the amber ale. Warning to self: they might bring their own CDs.
This is what is meant by a celibate lifestyle.
Hilary
science fair project
Hours awake: 42
Special hallucinatory insights:
1) String theory people think that the 6 invisible dimensions are "curled up" in Calabi-Yau shapes. That is inaccurate. What is really going on with those extra six dimensions is that they are asleep.
2) How I know this is by looking at the mysterious ratio of missed sleep (in hours) to finished academic work.
The extra time spent awake should yeild more total pages of academic work in a classical physics universe. But in the observable universe, there is a limit problem of rapidly diminishing returns.
By the Chain Rule, there must be a composite function hanging around to cause that regression. Clearly this is caused by particles of the graduate student slipping into the Calabi-Yau spaces to sleep for tiny interstices of time. Which explains why people who are tired appear to be "blurry".
Hilary
Special hallucinatory insights:
1) String theory people think that the 6 invisible dimensions are "curled up" in Calabi-Yau shapes. That is inaccurate. What is really going on with those extra six dimensions is that they are asleep.
2) How I know this is by looking at the mysterious ratio of missed sleep (in hours) to finished academic work.
The extra time spent awake should yeild more total pages of academic work in a classical physics universe. But in the observable universe, there is a limit problem of rapidly diminishing returns.
By the Chain Rule, there must be a composite function hanging around to cause that regression. Clearly this is caused by particles of the graduate student slipping into the Calabi-Yau spaces to sleep for tiny interstices of time. Which explains why people who are tired appear to be "blurry".
Hilary
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Welcome to the Blogosphere {*academic*}
HI John, Victoria, Delphine and Sharon.
You have entered a blog. Welcome to the blogosphere. :>
Viswasweran calls ethnographic writing research a "tangling of genres" that comprises life histories, autobiographies,transcribed feidlnotes from personal personal interviews,fiction and interpretive anthropological work (qtd. in Selfe and Hawisher, p. 20).
Blogs, too, are a tangling of autobiographical, fictive, academic and empirical genres. In fact, blogging has a lot in common with writing academic fieldnots (see Emerson, Fretz and Shaw, 2001). Specifically, a blog is a web space where you reflect about your day, record your observations, try out new theories (personal and professional), post cool links and, above all, evaluate your and your colleagues' attractiveness.
Tonight you will spend approximately five minutes browsing through my blog--please make sure to read the posts labeled *academic*.
The first *academic* post experiments with Selfe and Hawisher's use of the timeline as an organizing principle, "focusing" (in a bloggy way) on the relationship between technological development and the history of Metro Detroit.
The second post provides links to current news about the issue of universal public WiFi access in Metro Detroit.
The third post will link you to an online writing environment called LinguaMOO, where we will spend the remainder of our time together. So let's keep it MOOving...:>
You have entered a blog. Welcome to the blogosphere. :>
Viswasweran calls ethnographic writing research a "tangling of genres" that comprises life histories, autobiographies,transcribed feidlnotes from personal personal interviews,fiction and interpretive anthropological work (qtd. in Selfe and Hawisher, p. 20).
Blogs, too, are a tangling of autobiographical, fictive, academic and empirical genres. In fact, blogging has a lot in common with writing academic fieldnots (see Emerson, Fretz and Shaw, 2001). Specifically, a blog is a web space where you reflect about your day, record your observations, try out new theories (personal and professional), post cool links and, above all, evaluate your and your colleagues' attractiveness.
Tonight you will spend approximately five minutes browsing through my blog--please make sure to read the posts labeled *academic*.
The first *academic* post experiments with Selfe and Hawisher's use of the timeline as an organizing principle, "focusing" (in a bloggy way) on the relationship between technological development and the history of Metro Detroit.
The second post provides links to current news about the issue of universal public WiFi access in Metro Detroit.
The third post will link you to an online writing environment called LinguaMOO, where we will spend the remainder of our time together. So let's keep it MOOving...:>
LinguaMOO login {*academic*}
Hilary waves a banner:
+Meet Me at LinguaMOO+Sharon+Delphine+Victoria+and+John++++
http://lingua.utdallas.edu:7000/
Your login password is "guest".
We will meet in "Plato's Pub" in the collaboratory.
I will talk you through the registration process and navigation.
Which is destined to be ironic and interesting because this is, um, *my* first time chatting in a MOO. :>
+Meet Me at LinguaMOO+Sharon+Delphine+Victoria+and+John++++
http://lingua.utdallas.edu:7000/
Your login password is "guest".
We will meet in "Plato's Pub" in the collaboratory.
I will talk you through the registration process and navigation.
Which is destined to be ironic and interesting because this is, um, *my* first time chatting in a MOO. :>
universal public WiFi Access in Oakland County {*academic*{
Links
http://www.pennslyvania.metrofreefi.com/article.php?id=75&title=Oakland+pushes+wireless
Press release
http://jefflundberg.dyndns.org/blog/index.php/2005/02/12/oakland-county-goes-wireless
blog
http://www.freep.com/news/cfp/7/wifi24w_20050224.htm
Macomb county competes for first county with universal WiFI
http://www.pennslyvania.metrofreefi.com/article.php?id=75&title=Oakland+pushes+wireless
Press release
http://jefflundberg.dyndns.org/blog/index.php/2005/02/12/oakland-county-goes-wireless
blog
http://www.freep.com/news/cfp/7/wifi24w_20050224.htm
Macomb county competes for first county with universal WiFI
computing history and the history of metro Detroit {*academic*}
Selfe and Hawisher use narrated timelines as a way of linking technological developments to their wider "cultural ecologies" (p. 165).
You might have noticed this on pp. 63-69 ("cultural ecology of the 1960s an 1970s"), pp 79-82 ("cultural ecology of the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s") and on pp 165-170 ("cultural ecology of the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s").
In fact, if you DIDN'T notice these timelines while doing the assigned reading, you probably were stoned. Genre note: I am permitted to say "stoned" because this is my blog. The cultural ecologies are conveniently indexed on p. 256.
Selfe and Hawisher chose to compare the timeline of technological development with political and national history.
However, you can learn tres interesting stuff if you mix it up a little and compare the social history of technology to the history of a particular region.
Like, for instance, the history of Metro Detroit.
1919
Josephine Davis graduates law enforcement training as the first female police officer in Detroit. {Sugrue}
Electrical Experimenter reported that managing director Godfrey Issacs "foresees the day, not far distant, when pocket wireless telephones will be in wide use" {Timeline of Computing History, "1919"}.
1943
Ladies' Home Journal publishes the article "Do Women Have to Talk So Much" (Selfe and Hawisher, p. 166).
FHA builds concrete wall to enforce racial segregation between Birwood and Mendota streets in Northwest Detroit. The wall breaks at cross-streets, "segregating" only the backyards of houses that are adjacent to a neighboring childrens' park where young mothers gathered with their children. {see, for instance Sugrue, p. 67}
1945
Public school records show that "Why I like or do not like negroes" is a standard topic for the sixth grade arguementative essay at Van Dyke School in Northeast Detroit. "They try to mix with white people and we don't want them to", wrote a sixth grader named Mary Conk, "they wanted to live on Detroit and we didn't want them to" {Sugrue, p. 218}.
ENIAC, the first modern computer, is constructed. ENIAC's chief application was to "discriminate the sign of a number and compare quantities for equality" {Timeline of Computing History, "1945"}.
2005
Federal prosecutions under the CANSPAM Act of 2005 kick off in the northern suburb of West Bloomfield, where approximately eight spam gangs have been discovered. Ps, that is an atypically high number of spam gangs per square foot.
http://www.detnews.com/2004/technology/0404/29/a01-137416.htm
http://www.freep.com/money/tech/mwend22_20021122.htm
Epidemeologists discover that SPAM proliferation is a highly accurate model for the AIDS vector. http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=21526
A coding error by the City of Detroit "misplaces" funding for the Wellness House, a local HIV/AIDS public health organizations, in the account of another agency.
http://www.freep.com/news/health/aids31e_20040831.htm
Notice that I can get away with constructing evocative "peices" of a timeline because this is my blog. The continuuity demand is lower than in a PPT presentation. The point is to inspire directions for further research, not to "finish" an idea.
You might have noticed this on pp. 63-69 ("cultural ecology of the 1960s an 1970s"), pp 79-82 ("cultural ecology of the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s") and on pp 165-170 ("cultural ecology of the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s").
In fact, if you DIDN'T notice these timelines while doing the assigned reading, you probably were stoned. Genre note: I am permitted to say "stoned" because this is my blog. The cultural ecologies are conveniently indexed on p. 256.
Selfe and Hawisher chose to compare the timeline of technological development with political and national history.
However, you can learn tres interesting stuff if you mix it up a little and compare the social history of technology to the history of a particular region.
Like, for instance, the history of Metro Detroit.
1919
Josephine Davis graduates law enforcement training as the first female police officer in Detroit. {Sugrue}
Electrical Experimenter reported that managing director Godfrey Issacs "foresees the day, not far distant, when pocket wireless telephones will be in wide use" {Timeline of Computing History, "1919"}.
1943
Ladies' Home Journal publishes the article "Do Women Have to Talk So Much" (Selfe and Hawisher, p. 166).
FHA builds concrete wall to enforce racial segregation between Birwood and Mendota streets in Northwest Detroit. The wall breaks at cross-streets, "segregating" only the backyards of houses that are adjacent to a neighboring childrens' park where young mothers gathered with their children. {see, for instance Sugrue, p. 67}
1945
Public school records show that "Why I like or do not like negroes" is a standard topic for the sixth grade arguementative essay at Van Dyke School in Northeast Detroit. "They try to mix with white people and we don't want them to", wrote a sixth grader named Mary Conk, "they wanted to live on Detroit and we didn't want them to" {Sugrue, p. 218}.
ENIAC, the first modern computer, is constructed. ENIAC's chief application was to "discriminate the sign of a number and compare quantities for equality" {Timeline of Computing History, "1945"}.
2005
Federal prosecutions under the CANSPAM Act of 2005 kick off in the northern suburb of West Bloomfield, where approximately eight spam gangs have been discovered. Ps, that is an atypically high number of spam gangs per square foot.
http://www.detnews.com/2004/technology/0404/29/a01-137416.htm
http://www.freep.com/money/tech/mwend22_20021122.htm
Epidemeologists discover that SPAM proliferation is a highly accurate model for the AIDS vector. http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=21526
A coding error by the City of Detroit "misplaces" funding for the Wellness House, a local HIV/AIDS public health organizations, in the account of another agency.
http://www.freep.com/news/health/aids31e_20040831.htm
Notice that I can get away with constructing evocative "peices" of a timeline because this is my blog. The continuuity demand is lower than in a PPT presentation. The point is to inspire directions for further research, not to "finish" an idea.
curly hair and God
More illogical pinchbraiding advice: "leave out a canopy of hair to cover the braided roots".
That sooo sounds like something God would say to console His chosen people:
Now I am going to put a mark on your soul because you have a refractory nature. And the mark will be: curly hair. But take heart, because I will give ye way cool ways of coping with this problem such as the sticky wax, the thick conditioner that also tastes good, the relaxer, and the cute open-ended pinchbraid for crafting extensions (for it is kosher to straighten *other* people's hair).
BUT you must promise me to always leave the top layer of your hair out so that (after all this) nothing has changed but the confidence of knowing that your hair is perfectly straight *underneath*.
That sooo sounds like something God would say to console His chosen people:
Now I am going to put a mark on your soul because you have a refractory nature. And the mark will be: curly hair. But take heart, because I will give ye way cool ways of coping with this problem such as the sticky wax, the thick conditioner that also tastes good, the relaxer, and the cute open-ended pinchbraid for crafting extensions (for it is kosher to straighten *other* people's hair).
BUT you must promise me to always leave the top layer of your hair out so that (after all this) nothing has changed but the confidence of knowing that your hair is perfectly straight *underneath*.
random evocative lyrics a la MySpace
All I wanted was to sell like 500
And be a ghetto superstar since my first album, Blunted
I used to work as a Foot Locker, they fired me and fronted
Or I quitted, now I spit it - however, do you want it?
Now you get it!
Writing rhymes on my range with the frames slightly tinted
Then send it to your block and have my full name cemented
And if your rhymes sound like mine, I'm taking a percentage
Unprecedented and still respected when it vintage
I'm serious, I'm taking areas in Aquarius
Running red lights with my 10,000 chariots
Just as Christ was a superstar, you stupid star
They'll hail you then they'll nail you, no matter who you are
They'll make you now then take you down
And make you face it, if you slip the bag open
put your pinky in it and taste it. [Lauryn Hill, "ghetto superstar"]
And be a ghetto superstar since my first album, Blunted
I used to work as a Foot Locker, they fired me and fronted
Or I quitted, now I spit it - however, do you want it?
Now you get it!
Writing rhymes on my range with the frames slightly tinted
Then send it to your block and have my full name cemented
And if your rhymes sound like mine, I'm taking a percentage
Unprecedented and still respected when it vintage
I'm serious, I'm taking areas in Aquarius
Running red lights with my 10,000 chariots
Just as Christ was a superstar, you stupid star
They'll hail you then they'll nail you, no matter who you are
They'll make you now then take you down
And make you face it, if you slip the bag open
put your pinky in it and taste it. [Lauryn Hill, "ghetto superstar"]
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
not being pretty: advantages
Now that I have switched back to _not_ being pretty I can intelligently evaluate the strengths of this way of life:
1) Sexual fantasies are no longer a matter of conscience because you are not in danger of making anyone else contemplate sin.
2) thinness is God's consolation for ugly girls.
3) Sometimes the people who have loved you for a long time claim that they can still see beauty in you. And you see it in them.
4) Being ugly is very eco-friendly. The day says "hello" when you wake up and "goodbye" when you go to sleep: you leave everything as you found it.
5) People treat you like a human being becasue they do not need to acquire you.
Sigh.
Hilary
1) Sexual fantasies are no longer a matter of conscience because you are not in danger of making anyone else contemplate sin.
2) thinness is God's consolation for ugly girls.
3) Sometimes the people who have loved you for a long time claim that they can still see beauty in you. And you see it in them.
4) Being ugly is very eco-friendly. The day says "hello" when you wake up and "goodbye" when you go to sleep: you leave everything as you found it.
5) People treat you like a human being becasue they do not need to acquire you.
Sigh.
Hilary
current affirmations
Current affirmations: I am a pedestrian. I am invincible. And I could dart into the street at any time.
"I can't even cyber stalk myself competently enough to track down an
embarrassing rant I posted to Usenet when I was sixteen. The main idea of the
post was my frustration with the idiomatic language used by drivers' Education
instructors: "I figure they stay up all night, thinking "Let's see, what can I imply
today"? Now I realize that my anger was misdirected. Clarity is not the
answer: I needed to stay out of oncoming traffic". Excerpt from my writing assignment for Jeff's class.
"I can't even cyber stalk myself competently enough to track down an
embarrassing rant I posted to Usenet when I was sixteen. The main idea of the
post was my frustration with the idiomatic language used by drivers' Education
instructors: "I figure they stay up all night, thinking "Let's see, what can I imply
today"? Now I realize that my anger was misdirected. Clarity is not the
answer: I needed to stay out of oncoming traffic". Excerpt from my writing assignment for Jeff's class.
Monday, April 04, 2005
pinchbraiding
http://www.hairalchemy.com/tutorial/index.html
Current affirmations: My hair is not an art project.
Now the loc of hair goes on the counter. The scizzors go in your left hand. The string is in your mouth. Ready?
Twist.
Stat.
Cut.
Stat.
Knot.
Sta---whoa.
Hey?
Yeah.
Is it this complicated to take them out?
um.
What?
I think that you are going to be a natural at that part.
Hilary
Current affirmations: My hair is not an art project.
Now the loc of hair goes on the counter. The scizzors go in your left hand. The string is in your mouth. Ready?
Twist.
Stat.
Cut.
Stat.
Knot.
Sta---whoa.
Hey?
Yeah.
Is it this complicated to take them out?
um.
What?
I think that you are going to be a natural at that part.
Hilary
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