Sunday, August 28, 2005

mythical geography

Setting: Due e. on Warren ave. .

Hilary, Chris and Johnathan are doing it way big with a tray of ends (here, "it" is defined as nothing in particular).

Wow, said Johnathan, I accept this sticky end as my personal savior.

A shadow passed over Chris' face. Scotten, he said. Do you think do you think we should--

(no one ever wants to say it)

you know

(it's stupid but)

Yeah? said Hilary.

Okay, whispered johnathan satirically, here's the plan. If someone comes up and tries to mug us, you both go run and put your hands on that post at Wyoming Ave and cry out, "I'm touching Dearborn! You can't get me".

14 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Hi Hilary,

i have a very odd connection to you through an unfaithful. an even more strage unintentional way of running across you. (i.e, reading interesting blogs). im wierded out.

Hilary said...

Is the last comment simply more comment spam, or will "Wowser" elaborate on his first comment. I'm extrmely interested.

Anonymous said...

Hi Hilary,
Im not a random spammer, but I do wish to be anonymous, I hope that is ok with you.

The situation is hard to explain. The big of it? The man in my life had a quite a crush on "Hilary Anne Ward". So much so it caused much friction in the realtionship that I we broke up. We even lived together...

I dont think you even had much contact with him and his crush was severly unhealthy. I got your name from emails he had wrote (some sent, some not).

I apologize, this is really weird for me and I am sorry to put this at you.. i even debated checking back to see if you responded. The only reason I am even telling you this is because I feel the uniqueness of the situation needed to be brought front.

You never know how your daily actions effect so many people.

on a side note -- i wish i took your course when i was still in school. great theories.

regards.
wowzer , aka anonymous :)

Hilary said...

Hmmm....

Assuming that you're telling me the truth, and I think you could be, I'm genuinely sorry for anything that I could have done to contribute to your loss.

First of all, are you willing to let me know *when* all this happened?

If you're willing to give me an approximate time frame, I can help you figure out whether I had contact with this man or not--and what I might have (unknowingly) done to contribute to the problem.

Your anonymity is totally ok with me, but I might have to ask you a few follow up questions to help you answer some questions of your own.

Hilary said...

Just out of curiosity, how did you find these emails?

Anonymous said...

Hi Hilary...

I completely understand.

I found the emails because he was using a phone that was in my name (due to his credit issues) and the phone had email capabilities. I logged onto my account(not snooping, nor expecting to find what i did) to find drafts, opened emails, sent and deleted. He created his own email under my account for this purpose. I should mention, you were not the only woman he was sending to, you are the only one I ran across in this manner... You defintely had the most "unsent drafts". I didnt even begin to read them all. I saw what i needed to say off the rip.

Im not telling you this for an apology, you did no wrong. I just think if i were in your shoes, it would be interesting to know and also to maybe put up a red flag if you run into this character again. Dishonesty is his policy.

This happened last winter. I dont know how he orginally knew you but he bumped into you on campus and that rekindled whatever he had brewing within.

Also, to be clear about something else... I am no longer bitter about this at all. I have completely moved on and I realize how much of a cancer he was to have around.

I kinda regret doing this, I feel like a weirdo.

- Me

Hilary said...

Hey,
Please don't regret doing this! I very much appreciate the heads up.

My main concern is that you might be talking about someone I am seeing or could potentially see *now*. After all, I'm single, I date politely (ie no casual sex. I'm sure I haven't slept w.this guy)--and I definitely know a few sexy but dishonest men.

Is there any way you can think of that we can exhange names, or even clues that would narrow the man down to 1 person? You could for instance to create an anonymous webmail account and email me--if I can tell you anything in return (for the sake of finishing a story), I certainly will.

Otherwise, I might be inspired to avoid any man I have bumped into on campus in the past year! And that fits the description of every man I've gone out with or could potentially go out with since the beginning of grad school...

Anonymous said...

OH NO!

I dont want to do that to you. This just stirs up some stuff within me I didnt expect.

let me consider this, i will be in touch.

Anonymous said...

ok, i will say this and it should narrow down your suitors by a few.

AVALONS.

Is it odd that this is kinda fun to me? I must be twisted.

Regards,
weirdo

Hilary said...

Oh, I *fully* sympathize with the excitement of contacting a girl-in-abstraction. Your courage might inspire me to someday do the same.

The clue is ineffective though: I think I've shared coffee at Avalon with everyone in the Corridor. So you could be of Sean, Chris, Jakob, Derek, Steve or the notorious krm (if it's the last one, we're going on an immediate field trip:)--none of whom I'm dating.

I guess you could say I'm a coffee ho. :>

totally intrigued,

Hilary

Anonymous said...

Hi Hilary,

Coffee hoe, I like it. Avalon's is good for the soul even if it does include "hoe"ing. :)

Well, you did mention his name. It is not KRM and his name includes an S.

Glad to hear you are potentially not involved with this person. Of course, the desicion is up to you but from woman to woman, detroiter to detroiter, blogger to blogger, professional to professional or whatever arena you choose, hes trouble. my sage advice: steer clear.

Thanks for being so cool about this. I was really uneasy about the whole situation. At least he had good taste!

Good taste / horrible values. eh.

~me

Hilary said...

Oh,

I was looking through my inbox, and I think I know who we're talkin about.

Let me tell ya the rest of the story, which basically is a series of nonevents.

I met him in Fall 2004--probably exactly a year ago. I was walking home on 2nd ave near compus: he stopped me and we talked (about WSU, living in the Corridor, etc).

He asked me to lunch, but I couldn't go. He asked for my number, which I didn't give him because we had known each other for 4 seconds. He said he hoped we'd see each other again.

Then, I didn't see him for a million years. It's a good thing too, given the situation with krm (Jeeeeez! Are ALL the women on earth dealing with the SAME man?).

Then, in the Winter, I saw him at 2nd street laundry. We talked for awhile and kind of hit it off. He asked me out again. I said I'd consider it. I gave him my email address and he gave me his number.

But our conversation kind of died after that, so I let it be.

Then, he came into Avalon 1 day when I was evaluating student porfolios. We caught up. He told me about working at the Masonic temple, and invited me to a hip hop related thing that sounded cool (I can't remember the specifics).

I said maybe. He emailed me a few times, but I reflected on the ethics of dating a guy just 'cause he's connected to Stuff I Like (ie hip hop). I decided that Steve was against my better judgment and ditched him.

Eventually he stopped emailing me.

No conversation if I see him again, knowing what I know now.:> Thanks for letting me know.

Woman to women, detroiter to detroiter, we can't reward the idea that lying and being unfaithful is cool and ok.

Some men need to be swatted on the nose with a newspaper a few times before they get the picture.

So I'll tell my girls to stay clear of him too. :>

Hilary

Anonymous said...

Hilary,

he called me yesterday, wierd huh?:

him: hey, can you talk to me?

Me: I met someone you wanted to get to know while we were dating.

him: who??

me: Hilary Ward.
him: i dont know her.
me: yes you do.
him: dont tell me who i know.

I hang up.


Thanks for the details. this all really struck home with me because we were dating during all of these occurences. he is such a ass!!

I was at that hip hop show, he also invited me. i wonder how he would have handled you being there to. I guess he assumed you wouldnt go or i wouldnt or who knows!

There are some other details pertintent to this that i would like you to know that i found out but i dont really want to post them publicly, if you want to know just let me know, if not cool . They basically just confirm the mantra... STAY AWAY.


With this one though, a slap on the nose wont work. Im not the first realtionship he messed up with lies.

Oh, and he lied about his age the whole time... hes 35, told me 30. Not that big of a deal but hey, its another lie.

man oh man.

men!


~me