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everything is illuminated: the autism epidemic

Last night I calmly asked Google, so why are all these autism-related tv programs airing on ABC?

Answer: April is National Autism Awareness Month, a festive season whereby nonautistic people and other nonexperts discuss autism on network television.

So I've been going home immediately after work to catch up on the scoop. Here's a sample of what I learned about autism from Oprah and The View:

1. With genetic counseling, doctors will eventually attain 100 percent prevention of autism. That's right! 50 years from now, my birth could have been prevented.

2. Autism is characterized by having adorable big brown eyes, but pacing and pulling on your hair to utter devastation of remaining family. Those parents are goddamn heros for still loving their kids.

3. It is unknown (and uninteresting) whether autistic individuals may survive to age 21. There are no autistic adults.

4. Mainstream kids may be frightened of the autistic kids in their classroom and may need to do special workbook exercises to cope with the presence of these ... monsters. Oh the humanity!

Rosie's autism couch talk on The View (6.4.2007) culminates in a slightly-less-offensive interview w/ TG:

Rosie: So is there a gene that doctors can -- treat -- with gene therapy?

TG: Look. If there were no autism -- gene -- , then there would be no cameras and technical equipment to film this program. Those genes play a tremendous role in advancing in technology and the sciences --

Rosie: --- blah blah blah.

So this got me thinking: Many of my people are highly influential engineers of networks, CGI, cameras and ... the epistemological framework of genetic science.

So why are we allowing crap like this to air?

ATTW 2007 Ross Pudaloff Richard Grusin laundry detergent Session A5

Thanks to the WSU English Department's overwhelming generosity, we had the fortune of being able to travel via luxury charter bus to ATTW / CCCC 2007 in New York City. Fortunately, thanks to Grayhound, we were not unnecessarily burdened by our luggage during our stay.

4 hours prior to Session A5, we arrived at 4 am in our lavish hotel room with spacious communial showers and authentic arctic water piped directly from the Alps (cross-ventilated by a permanently open bathroom window). Laundry detergent was conveniently located in a store 5 blocks South of the hotel; this early morning stroll afforded us a rare glimpse of Manhattan nightlife. Even without a map, we were able to navigate through the unlit streets via strategically located piles of garbage ("remember, our hotel is south of the mattress and 1 block west of the dirty needles").

After we emerged from the piles of garbage and theorized our hotel shower [it's an "or" gate with zero potential for practical application], we discovered that NY has implemented a brilliant new fitness plan specifically designed for tourists. After a vigorous workout on the Nordic Track, ie 6th avenue, we arrived at the Hilton for Session A5.

The ease and comfort of our travel hoodies, combined with our total lack of data, really took the pressure off of our panel. For example Hilary presented her abstract ("my slideshow is at a rest stop"), sans data, and quietly exempted herself from paying the registration fee. While the CCCers pretended not to notice our distinctive style, their bemused expressions belied the fact that we were mistaken for characters on the Simpsons: in that sense, we were treated like celebrities. Francie loved our conference room so much that she designated it as a satellite of her 12th floor WSU office and permanent new home for her iMac.

Thanks to ATTW 2007 Ross Pudaloff Richard Grusin Laundry Detergent Session A5, our travel log enjoys a remarkably high page rank in Google. Thanks for the line on the CV.

Sincerely,

Hilary Anne Ward

Travel funding (rant)

First of all, I am happy for the students in Literary and Cultural Studies who were able to present at the MLA in December. I agree that your travel should be funded. But so should mine.

Both the English Dept Travel funds and the Humanitites Dept Travel funds are exhausted by conferences in lit and cult studies like the MLA, which are scheduled for earlier in the academic year. The Travel funds are exhausted by the time I am eligible to apply for funding to attend my conference (CCCC), which is scheduled in March.

When graduate students in composition, rhetoric and tech comm present our research at conferences, we travel on our own dime. I refuse to accept that this perennial, systematic slight is a mere accident of the calendar. Rather, the lack of Travel funding for students in nonacademic writing communicates a subtle message about the value of our research and professionalization : We are second-rate.

Disclaimer: I am not claiming that the Department of English should withold Travel awards from graduate students in lit and cult studies and reserve them for comp/rhet. I am trying to suggest that our administrators and supportive faculty should acknowledge the problem as a problem and find new and other sources of Travel funding for graduate students in composition.

My professionalization is getting expensive.