today in English 1020

my student observed that the Trix rabbit is a Malcolm X-like hero and came up with a ypothetical commerical where he folds his arms and says he's "too cool for his own cereal":

"Fine, TAKE the cereal. It will only put you in the death grip of a capitalistic system bwahaHA. First trix, then an x box, then crystal meth".

What I like about a group of cars

traveling together is, that your friends have to keep their hands and feet to themselves and it is probably the weekend.

It did not look smart when she did it

And you do not look any smarter when you do it.

But no one tries to reason with a beaming moron

Um,

this weekend I accidentally lit myself on fire.

Current stats:
Number of eyebrows: Zero.
Number of singed two-inch twists in my hair: zillions (every time I see that word I want to throw up).
Theme of hair project #2: Bonsai tree
Current art project(s): Learning to draw eyebrows.

what if

you were the only giraffe that lived in a particular zoo? You must not have even known that you were confined and lonely, but you did not exacly thrive. So the zookeepers throw a quilt over your wire cage and put you on a cargo plane to Gambia.

The next thing you know, you are being stared down by another giraffe that is grazing quietly on the plain.

For a very long time, you would probably be convinced that that giraffe killed all the other animals in the zoo.

I am Annakin Skywalker

before he went over to the dark side.

in the heart of the heart of the heart of the country

Then my dad was playing a Zagger acoustic guitar on the porch and we sang extremely relevant songs by Cat Stevens such as

peace train
wild world
moonshadow
blackbird (note: not by Cat Stevens)

and I made up extra verses to moonshadow such as

and if I ever loose my keys, oh yeah, I will not have to go up to my office.

and if the SUV backs over me, oh yeah, I will not have to make tough judgement calls, oh yeah, because I will be forced to crawl toward sin at a snails' pace.

Oh yeab.

Yeah.

Mmm hmm.

likes and dislikes

likes (in descending order)
god, any.
hip hop music
pet turtles.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
girls
My AI clothes (overalls and a soft shirt)
boys
my naked body
fjr in mens' pants
SharonRoxanneNealStacieJulie

dislikes
lying
unstructured free time
heavy metal guitars
sirens
ambiguity
dogs
downriver

(yes)

The elephant god was watching Hilary in case Hilary's soul got wedged on a roof somewhere or stuck in deep shit. (Probably take you ten thousand years to get out). But this time Hilary was too cool for the infinite compassion of god. In her secret heart Hilary pitied those lameass resource room girls like Sarah L.and the other sister in The Other Sister, who never risked having to scrape peices of their souls off ashphalt.

I am not a retard, Hilary said to herself aloud for the ten thousand twenty millionth time, and I do not have to be like those dumb triangles in flatland.

(In flatland the special needs triangles lived strapped to the floor for other people to feel. Hilary hated them).

Well sure, said Hilary's mom on the phone. Good greif. Hilary's mom said she thought it was not becoming for a young woman to struggle morbidly with matters of the heart.

Hilary and her father sat on the deck drinking Frangelico. Young lady, said Hilary's father sharply, watch your pride.

The thing about intelligent choices is that they feel cold to the touch, like a park bench not a person, like an ox shaped drum that is not going to be stricken by a mallett wrapped in cotton any time soon.

notebook/computers

Hilary stared out over the tops of her students' heads, scrutinizing in particular the way their hair was sectioned.

The computer classroom was oppressively warm.

Hilary felt like invisible paws were smothering her breath. OK, she gasped, has anyone seen this word?

She reached for chalk. There is no chalk in the computer classroom. There is a whiteboard but you have to buy your own marker and bring it.

Hilary took out her Hello Kitty diary and frog pen and scrawled the word

OPPRESSION

She held up the notebook like a sign.

This is a class about writing, she said, to get around the system and fight oppression.

art project

best moments:
"OK this is no longer a 100 percent organic project.. What I need is glue that could fix a tear in the fabric of space time. What I need is a welding arc".
When my phone rang, and I grabbed it, and my hands got glued to the phone, and the gluey phone picked up the braid ends.

Current affirmations: My phone has dreadlocks.

Eastside braiding newsletter

In fewer than forty eight hours I will be part human, part yak.

ick

ick
Yesterday I woke up lying in my own throw up, and also it got inside my sinus cavity.

Current affirmations:
I will clean all the vomit off the bathroom fixtures.
Now is a good time to start fasting again

ick cubed
my best friend has flesh eating bacteria growing on her.

draft exchange

Send has been pressed. Time to go have some awesome cereal.

Commercial Break

Hilary's Eastside Braiding Salon

-Zero professional braiders
-dangerously inexperienced
-stoners with scizzors
-Ancient "Whatever it takes" attachment method: knots/spirit gum/ chemicals/glue/welding arc.

"I'm not looking for a parental figure in a god. I have enough parents...but what I do not have is a pet elephant".