what I want to do when I grow up is

I want to make a documentary a la Alex Haley where I travel cross-country looking for my people (ie grown up autistic people who have steady jobs).

But most of the documentary would NOT consist of me searching out and interviewing high functioning autistic people, at least, not on the theme of "what it is like to be autistic" .

Rather, what I would do when I met each person is: let them borrow my 1950's style home movie camera for 1 day.

The documentary would consist of footage filmed by autistic people about things that each individual found interesting and/or relevant. (Not relevant to autism research. Relevant to life).

It would be ok if anyone wanted to use their own digital camera. And people could chose their own soundtracks to go with the films.

I think it's time for a long-anticipated Week Without People.

sharing

You think THAT's a suspicious package? said my one friend who is a drummer at O'Mara's. Try the large unmarked box that arrives on my lawn from Turkey.

normal summer hours

This summer, Sharon and I have a contractual agreement. The specific language of that agreement is "we are not going to talk about distressing topics such as the Writing Center or Francie during Normal Summer Hours".

Fast forward to today. I went up to the writing center to put a box there where my students could drop off their portfolios. Catherine like went crazy. You can't do that, you can't do that, you can't do that without the permission of the director.

So I dragged my scraggly assed box to the outside of the office for students with disabilities, where I always seem to end up.

Sharon called me at that moment and I told her my minor pathetic story.

Um, said Sharon, not to violate our agreement, but um, you better take your box up there and put it on the Writing Centor Director's desk so your students can drop off their work.

I can't do that without permission....I started.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaagh Sharon said so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. Who is the Writing Center director?

Sharon is the writing center director.

Who is the Writing Center director?

Sharon is the Writing Center Director.

Say it. Who is the Writing Center Director?

You are.

Now go put your box on my desk.

"Women and their beloved losers"

is the title of Carolina's essay for Assignment 3.

but now that I've caught up on 2 months of sleep, the 2nd job is starting to look good on its own merits.

priorities

What are you doing with your extra 120 dollars per paycheck?

Things I meant to do
pay off parking tickets
buy Fall clothes
invest in concealer
get groceries

Things I have done
put off getting a second job
reread the Autobiography of Malcolm X
rented at least 1 movie every day
replaced Fugees cd

but still haunted at times by the mystery and problem of her.

The 1 situation in human life that is more abysmal than having nothing is having 1 thing, because you will nail it to the floor and twist the walls and the writing on the walls around to keep the 1 thing you have undisturbed.

People are strange,and bad, and good, and so, the end. Name deleted is like the scar from when I accidentally stapled my hand. I want to reach into the past and pull her out.

am suprisingly happy, given that I recently had judged this as an twisted and punishing ending.

according to schedule,

This morning I threw up *everywhere*. I think I have decided to stick with the tradition of throwing up 1 time per semester, the week my students' grades are due.

the art of teaching assignment request forms

Every TA has a special strategy to make sure their requested teaching schedule goes through. Some TAs put in their requests super early. "Senior" TAs have their special faculty put in a good word. A few of them try to work out special deals with Dick before the form reaches Margaret's desk.

So here's my strategy: Every semester, I simply write "English 1020: Introduction to College Writing. MWF 8am-11 back to back. Love, Hilary".

This way, I can rest assured that my request will be granted. AND I can say what am thinking to Margaret and Robert at Departmental Assemblies even if it will tick them off (and it does. it does. ).

If they could focus on the math, they'd probably rebel

number of eyebrows: 2
number of WORKING indoor toilets: 0
current height: 5'6" 1/2 (gettin taller!)
current weight: 118.5
height of jerkass students (combined): 19'5"
weight of jerkass students (combined): 473 lbs
current mood: scared

Neal hears and understands

but he pretends he doesn't.

Sometimes I think this makes Neal a big honking poophead, but actually, his behavior is probably good for me.

honor

Catherine's boyfriend Ha'a'maida has forbidden her to talk to me.

Current status

I am happy.

phil's email to rick caldwell

a collaborative parody written by Phil, Catherine and me (note: phil okayed the posting of this email on my blog).


-----Original Message-----
From: Penoose39
To: ac0365@wayne.edu
Sent: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 17:14:33 -0400
Subject: EPE Reviews for THURSDAY, JULY 21


Hi Rick.

I sincerely hope you've had a pleasant day, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I cannot overstate my concern for your personal well-being.

I just wanted to let you know, lest you think otherwise and perhaps make an unnecessary trip over here in such unspeakably hot weather, that we have no reviews for tomorrow. As such, there is no need whatsoever to access your extensive files and "pull" anything. While you are undoubtedly eminently capable of searching for the students' names, locating each individual test, and bringing the exams over to the Writing Center, you can revel in the simple fact that such trifling minutiae will not be required of you today.

Nope...we're fine over here.

You can go ahead and tell Katie that my final day will indeed be August 19.

Thanks, and may the remainder of your day be filled with peace and happiness.

Phil

the sound of grit

dactylic pairs of monosyllable words:

ass rape
fuse box
fuck wit
spark plug
rug burn
gay wad
hex nut
pipe snake
grade change

no matter what neighborhood I move to

it seems like the same exploding toilet keeps following me around.

teaching MLA citation style

Parentheses and quotation marks are swimming in my mind.

I stared blankly at my students.

And my students stared back.

They looked like they needed a reading day.