Friday, September 02, 2005
but Sharon is not listening.
she is going around the kitchen like, whose the girl? I'm the girl! Whose the girl? I'm the girl. Go, go, go, go. Go girl. Go girl. This is Sharon calling you live from the nonautistic world.
the google search that retreived this blog
was "blogger" and "me".
Yeah! Said Sharon when she whacked it, the nonautistic people go,
go nts, go nts, go nts.
Um Sharon, they can't go like that, I said, or they are going to get beat up.
Yeah! Said Sharon when she whacked it, the nonautistic people go,
go nts, go nts, go nts.
Um Sharon, they can't go like that, I said, or they are going to get beat up.
connotation/denotation
My downstairs neighbors have bewildered me:
Can anybody tell me why it is considered "ghetto" to have French provencal furniature?
Can anybody tell me why it is considered "ghetto" to have French provencal furniature?
I mean, the field of technical communication
is all about creating documents that can keep people and things from spontaneously exploding.
extreme fieldwork
The Plan:
to do my departmentally required interdisciplinary coursework in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
The Challenge:
A conversation with Myrtle where I convince her to sign a form saying I can do interdisciplinary coursework in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
The Reward:
Casually telling a prospective hiring committee that I did my interdisciplinary work in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
to do my departmentally required interdisciplinary coursework in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
The Challenge:
A conversation with Myrtle where I convince her to sign a form saying I can do interdisciplinary coursework in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
The Reward:
Casually telling a prospective hiring committee that I did my interdisciplinary work in the field of Hazardous Waste Management.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
a neo-Aristotelian refrigerator
If I ever wanted to explain phronesis to numerous people, not that I'd ever presume to do that as long as fjr is around, but anyway, if she were not around, or I were not around, or both (which accurately describes how things are), this is what my explanation of phronesis would be:
Whoa: Have you ever thought about how, like,
the scenario of you eating out of your refrigerator is a boring everyday event
but the scenario of someone else eating out of your refrigerator is dramatically hazardous and life threatening?
In conclusion, (formulaic ending. there is no summary, only zul).
Whoa: Have you ever thought about how, like,
the scenario of you eating out of your refrigerator is a boring everyday event
but the scenario of someone else eating out of your refrigerator is dramatically hazardous and life threatening?
In conclusion, (formulaic ending. there is no summary, only zul).
Hello, School Year
(how the day ended)
I am giving you and Sharon one invitation to Jasmine's Hello Kitty birthday party, lawanda us in the elevator, because I know you two are a couple.
The elevator door opened on nine. Robert waved loudly. We were laughing.
You know I never agreed to that, I mock whispered conspiritorialiy. The elevator door started to close.
Baby I want to ditch her and get with yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu---
I hollered campily, and Sharon's hair looked good, and the elevator descended.
I am giving you and Sharon one invitation to Jasmine's Hello Kitty birthday party, lawanda us in the elevator, because I know you two are a couple.
The elevator door opened on nine. Robert waved loudly. We were laughing.
You know I never agreed to that, I mock whispered conspiritorialiy. The elevator door started to close.
Baby I want to ditch her and get with yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu---
I hollered campily, and Sharon's hair looked good, and the elevator descended.
law of elevators
In the Maccabees bldg., you never step into and out of an elevator as the same person.
departmental approval
Strange things happen when I press the down arrow from floor 10 to 9, so when alone and skipping out, I always take the stairs.
But when I tried to cut out of faculty orientation Name Deleted was sitting on the stairwell, starring Himself.
Hey, he said softly.
Hi! I said. .
Just so you know, he said. I admire your critique of the digital literacy policy, AND your outfit, AND your nametag.
Sometimes, he sighed, people high up on the heirarchy will have to sympathize with you in secret. But know that the spirit is there.
He made a peace sign. I made one back. Once again, a thing of immense importance had happened between floors.
But when I tried to cut out of faculty orientation Name Deleted was sitting on the stairwell, starring Himself.
Hey, he said softly.
Hi! I said. .
Just so you know, he said. I admire your critique of the digital literacy policy, AND your outfit, AND your nametag.
Sometimes, he sighed, people high up on the heirarchy will have to sympathize with you in secret. But know that the spirit is there.
He made a peace sign. I made one back. Once again, a thing of immense importance had happened between floors.
It represents the pain of separation from a lost beginning.
"We're counting the nametags at the begginning of the day", Name deleted me on the phone, "so you make sure you show up".
I looked abysmally at the row of truant faculty nametags on the table and the Kwame billboard out the window and Name deleted's locked office door. In spirit, I was with them.
Current affirmations: I have successfully tampered with my nametag at TA orientation.
I looked abysmally at the row of truant faculty nametags on the table and the Kwame billboard out the window and Name deleted's locked office door. In spirit, I was with them.
Current affirmations: I have successfully tampered with my nametag at TA orientation.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
mythical geography
Setting: Due e. on Warren ave. .
Hilary, Chris and Johnathan are doing it way big with a tray of ends (here, "it" is defined as nothing in particular).
Wow, said Johnathan, I accept this sticky end as my personal savior.
A shadow passed over Chris' face. Scotten, he said. Do you think do you think we should--
(no one ever wants to say it)
you know
(it's stupid but)
Yeah? said Hilary.
Okay, whispered johnathan satirically, here's the plan. If someone comes up and tries to mug us, you both go run and put your hands on that post at Wyoming Ave and cry out, "I'm touching Dearborn! You can't get me".
Hilary, Chris and Johnathan are doing it way big with a tray of ends (here, "it" is defined as nothing in particular).
Wow, said Johnathan, I accept this sticky end as my personal savior.
A shadow passed over Chris' face. Scotten, he said. Do you think do you think we should--
(no one ever wants to say it)
you know
(it's stupid but)
Yeah? said Hilary.
Okay, whispered johnathan satirically, here's the plan. If someone comes up and tries to mug us, you both go run and put your hands on that post at Wyoming Ave and cry out, "I'm touching Dearborn! You can't get me".
Friday, August 26, 2005
attendance
Attendance
Students are expected to attend every session of English 1020 unless a Serious Emergency happens. A Serious Emergency is defined as a problem that creates a written record such as a towing estimate, death certificate or hospital bill.
However, there is an appropriate time and place for skipping courses in college. Specifically, the appropriate time for skipping this section of English 1020 is: on the last Friday of every month (i.e., Standardization Awareness Day).
Note: Standardization Awareness Day is a critical thinking assignment, not a free day. Be prepared to discuss the impact on standardization on the cultural tradition of skipping class.
Students are expected to attend every session of English 1020 unless a Serious Emergency happens. A Serious Emergency is defined as a problem that creates a written record such as a towing estimate, death certificate or hospital bill.
However, there is an appropriate time and place for skipping courses in college. Specifically, the appropriate time for skipping this section of English 1020 is: on the last Friday of every month (i.e., Standardization Awareness Day).
Note: Standardization Awareness Day is a critical thinking assignment, not a free day. Be prepared to discuss the impact on standardization on the cultural tradition of skipping class.
"So where are you?"
Sharon replied sensibly, "Do you want to come over for some unprofessional coffee, bread and soup?"
current status
current height: 1.5 feet (with added thickness of pillow over head)
current lenght: 6 feet (arms extended over mattress)
current weight: 115 lbs (with added weight of snappy quilt)
current mood: sheer bewilderment
current lenght: 6 feet (arms extended over mattress)
current weight: 115 lbs (with added weight of snappy quilt)
current mood: sheer bewilderment
Friday, August 19, 2005
three rules for TAs
1. Don't feign annoyance at student behaviors that you secretly enjoy.
2. On the bright side, your graduate professors are not fundamentally smarter or more knowledgeable than you are.
3. On the downside, you are not fundamentally smarter or more knowledgable than your students.
2. On the bright side, your graduate professors are not fundamentally smarter or more knowledgeable than you are.
3. On the downside, you are not fundamentally smarter or more knowledgable than your students.
four rules
1. You always have the same number of problems.
1. If it hadn't been for that, it would have been something else.
2. It's not that exceptional. Every living breathing situation is more complex than the law.
3. No matter what happens, you can always have some cereal.
1. If it hadn't been for that, it would have been something else.
2. It's not that exceptional. Every living breathing situation is more complex than the law.
3. No matter what happens, you can always have some cereal.
sirens, rotten lanyards and unbeeswaxed ears
From: Tantalus66@aol.com Add to Address Book
Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 17:39:54 EDT
Subject: sirens, rotten lanyards and unbeewaxed ears
To: kafkaandchips@yahoo.com
so. your concerns are noted, and i just shake my head and cluck. whiles like
a puffed and reckless libertine Jim the primrose path of dalliance treads. i
have also had to deal with a couple of teary eyed does after they had been up
to Dobski's. the day erased, the lesson done ready for the free flight into
the wordless and in come some of the victims of the road looking for Virgil.
i winced when i listened to the long litany of sad gropings and flaccid (some
turgid i hear) cooings. he must be a very lonely, unhappy man right now. is
it uxorial stress? his mom on and off of her death bed? i hope this hasn't
been going on for years. i wish i didn't get wind of it at all because it's
diminished the appeal of the meeting with the group. all i can do is listen
but keep my eyes on the road, and my hands on the wheel. unfortunately, that
course of action seems to have little effect because apparently if i don't go
to the party, the party comes to me. sad. i enjoyed teaching my class. loads
of dialectic going on. the last thing i wanted to do was drink and
commiserate, so i went for a long paddle. i was kissing the sublime until i
got back. amy was sleeping on the lawn with a blanket from my bed and donnell
was in the garage sifting through my books, and i guess Jim and others had
been by drinking half of my beers. where did it all go so wrong? i miss Chris.
ton,
tom
Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 17:39:54 EDT
Subject: sirens, rotten lanyards and unbeewaxed ears
To: kafkaandchips@yahoo.com
so. your concerns are noted, and i just shake my head and cluck. whiles like
a puffed and reckless libertine Jim the primrose path of dalliance treads. i
have also had to deal with a couple of teary eyed does after they had been up
to Dobski's. the day erased, the lesson done ready for the free flight into
the wordless and in come some of the victims of the road looking for Virgil.
i winced when i listened to the long litany of sad gropings and flaccid (some
turgid i hear) cooings. he must be a very lonely, unhappy man right now. is
it uxorial stress? his mom on and off of her death bed? i hope this hasn't
been going on for years. i wish i didn't get wind of it at all because it's
diminished the appeal of the meeting with the group. all i can do is listen
but keep my eyes on the road, and my hands on the wheel. unfortunately, that
course of action seems to have little effect because apparently if i don't go
to the party, the party comes to me. sad. i enjoyed teaching my class. loads
of dialectic going on. the last thing i wanted to do was drink and
commiserate, so i went for a long paddle. i was kissing the sublime until i
got back. amy was sleeping on the lawn with a blanket from my bed and donnell
was in the garage sifting through my books, and i guess Jim and others had
been by drinking half of my beers. where did it all go so wrong? i miss Chris.
ton,
tom
Amy
Amy: the ineluctable modality of friendship. Tom and me in a hortus deliciarum of adolescent indignation. The mess always seems like a blind alley, a disappearing horizon where all the laws and rules are inapplicable.
Maybe I still have the email in my old account.
Maybe I still have the email in my old account.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
spelling it out
Your Portfolio
Students will not receive grades on individual assignments. Rather, you will put everything you write into your portfolio for evaluation at the end of the semester.
Definition of portfolio
A portfolio is a hard binder with the metal rings that you spent the fifth grade snapping open and shut. Portfolios are the pachyderm of writing technology: you can throw them over the Lodge overpass and your written work will be preserved. Alternate names for portfolio include binder, trapper, and trapper keeper.
Not so fast
This course is designed to force you to engage in the process of writing. Here, process means that you have to do multiple drafts of each assignment and highlight your revisions from draft to draft. Specifically, you are asked to create and receive feedback on four (4) drafts before you put each assignment in your portfolio.
1. a draft for self-evaluation.
2. a draft for peer evaluation.
3. a draft for my feedback.
4. a draft for evaluation by a member of the community you’re writing for or about.
We’ll discuss specific protocol (i.e., steps for doing and documenting it) for the draft evaluations in further detail in class on Wednesday, September 13.
Structuring your portfolio
Place the assignments in your portfolio in numerical sequence (i.e., Assignment 1, Assignment 2, Assignment 3, Assignment 4….). Every assignment should have its own section and be separated from other assignments by a divider. Dividers have tab labels for handy reference.
Each section should be structured as followed:
1.draft 1 3. draft 2 5. Draft 3 7. Draft 4
2.self evaluation form 4. peer evaluation 6. My feedback 8. community eval.
9. “final” draft (quote marks emphasize the problematic myth of “final” drafts).
Porfolios without binders
Will be eaten.
Students will not receive grades on individual assignments. Rather, you will put everything you write into your portfolio for evaluation at the end of the semester.
Definition of portfolio
A portfolio is a hard binder with the metal rings that you spent the fifth grade snapping open and shut. Portfolios are the pachyderm of writing technology: you can throw them over the Lodge overpass and your written work will be preserved. Alternate names for portfolio include binder, trapper, and trapper keeper.
Not so fast
This course is designed to force you to engage in the process of writing. Here, process means that you have to do multiple drafts of each assignment and highlight your revisions from draft to draft. Specifically, you are asked to create and receive feedback on four (4) drafts before you put each assignment in your portfolio.
1. a draft for self-evaluation.
2. a draft for peer evaluation.
3. a draft for my feedback.
4. a draft for evaluation by a member of the community you’re writing for or about.
We’ll discuss specific protocol (i.e., steps for doing and documenting it) for the draft evaluations in further detail in class on Wednesday, September 13.
Structuring your portfolio
Place the assignments in your portfolio in numerical sequence (i.e., Assignment 1, Assignment 2, Assignment 3, Assignment 4….). Every assignment should have its own section and be separated from other assignments by a divider. Dividers have tab labels for handy reference.
Each section should be structured as followed:
1.draft 1 3. draft 2 5. Draft 3 7. Draft 4
2.self evaluation form 4. peer evaluation 6. My feedback 8. community eval.
9. “final” draft (quote marks emphasize the problematic myth of “final” drafts).
Porfolios without binders
Will be eaten.
whoa, has anyone seen
that subtly evocative "Kwame X" billboard?
I wonder if Kwame would be willing to discuss that with my English 1020 students.
(realistic first day of class fantasy)
Hilary (pleasantly): ok, raise your hand if you have seen the billboard where...
student a: is this for Assignment 1?
I wonder if Kwame would be willing to discuss that with my English 1020 students.
(realistic first day of class fantasy)
Hilary (pleasantly): ok, raise your hand if you have seen the billboard where...
student a: is this for Assignment 1?
hilary's experimental new grading policy
Note: "Experimental" is academic for: based on what actually happens.
meeting notes
I'm willing to give this book a try, said Sharon doubtfully. And I see how it can foster a sense of political consciousness, but how helfpul is it for teaching your students how to write a literature review.
Extremely. It's extremely helpful.
And how is that?
Well, you start from the premise that a literare review is kind of story about the origin of an academic project.
Sure.
And if there's anything that the discipline of Composition wants to get across, it's that you don't merely discover the history of your topic through library research: Rather, in the literature review, you construct or peice together a story about the history of the topic that fits in with the overarching purpose of your project.
Obviously.
Yeah! So the literature review discussion goes:
Jacub's history--myths of origin as a genre--the literature review as a myth of origin.
No, Sharon sighed, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't.
Extremely. It's extremely helpful.
And how is that?
Well, you start from the premise that a literare review is kind of story about the origin of an academic project.
Sure.
And if there's anything that the discipline of Composition wants to get across, it's that you don't merely discover the history of your topic through library research: Rather, in the literature review, you construct or peice together a story about the history of the topic that fits in with the overarching purpose of your project.
Obviously.
Yeah! So the literature review discussion goes:
Jacub's history--myths of origin as a genre--the literature review as a myth of origin.
No, Sharon sighed, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Negative Outlook Day
I have discovered a cure for PMS at Whole Foods Market. The cure is distributed evenly among the variety of delicious free samples.
Negative Outlook Day
One time Roxanne warned Ayeda that I am marked for my lack of strong negative emotions.
This is a misperception. I do experience the following emotions on a consistent basis: hatred, sadness, lonelieness, crying, desire to inflict harm. Specifically, I experience them every month the day before my period starts.
Lots of girls like to dismiss this need to club people and eat their bones as transient and illusory because it lasts for 24 hours. However, I think PMS serves a specific psychosocial function in calling your attention to problems that are normally smoothed over by a fairly bucolic outlook on life.
Deep down, I probably DO hate crowded video stores, the institutionalized traffic bottleneck known as the Detroit-Windsor borderand my vaccuum. Neal can be a Big Giant Poophead. And I am not prepared to like Current Crush as much as I do, which can lead to pulling him toward me with my right hand and pushing him away with my left, and temporarily replacing him with a gooey doughnut.
Normally I don't think about all these things because it is time to put a coat of primer on the kitchen wall.
Today I cried for a second because my coffee filters keep swimming in the filter holder, and then the coffee does not percolate. Or, more accurately, percolates backward.
Then I bought a shining new coffee pot. Now the filters are swimming peacefully in 2 out of 4 rooms.
This is a misperception. I do experience the following emotions on a consistent basis: hatred, sadness, lonelieness, crying, desire to inflict harm. Specifically, I experience them every month the day before my period starts.
Lots of girls like to dismiss this need to club people and eat their bones as transient and illusory because it lasts for 24 hours. However, I think PMS serves a specific psychosocial function in calling your attention to problems that are normally smoothed over by a fairly bucolic outlook on life.
Deep down, I probably DO hate crowded video stores, the institutionalized traffic bottleneck known as the Detroit-Windsor borderand my vaccuum. Neal can be a Big Giant Poophead. And I am not prepared to like Current Crush as much as I do, which can lead to pulling him toward me with my right hand and pushing him away with my left, and temporarily replacing him with a gooey doughnut.
Normally I don't think about all these things because it is time to put a coat of primer on the kitchen wall.
Today I cried for a second because my coffee filters keep swimming in the filter holder, and then the coffee does not percolate. Or, more accurately, percolates backward.
Then I bought a shining new coffee pot. Now the filters are swimming peacefully in 2 out of 4 rooms.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Hilly needs to search the whole planet
"for that one special person who completes her life", said my mom pleasantly. "But wouldn't it be convenient if they lived 2 doors down and they were going to be a doctor?"
Thursday, August 04, 2005
speaking of South America
My mom ran into Alexander James Tarnas on our front patio, where he just happened to be eating an organic pbj sandwitch.
AJ and I have seen each other in the naked wild and totally unprofessional state of being seven years old. We used to build treehouses together.
AJ and I have seen each other in the naked wild and totally unprofessional state of being seven years old. We used to build treehouses together.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Eeeeeeeeeew
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
(wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww).
Oh I'm almost over it,
no wait,
w.
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
(wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww).
Oh I'm almost over it,
no wait,
w.
Friday, July 29, 2005
what I want to do when I grow up is
I want to make a documentary a la Alex Haley where I travel cross-country looking for my people (ie grown up autistic people who have steady jobs).
But most of the documentary would NOT consist of me searching out and interviewing high functioning autistic people, at least, not on the theme of "what it is like to be autistic" .
Rather, what I would do when I met each person is: let them borrow my 1950's style home movie camera for 1 day.
The documentary would consist of footage filmed by autistic people about things that each individual found interesting and/or relevant. (Not relevant to autism research. Relevant to life).
It would be ok if anyone wanted to use their own digital camera. And people could chose their own soundtracks to go with the films.
But most of the documentary would NOT consist of me searching out and interviewing high functioning autistic people, at least, not on the theme of "what it is like to be autistic" .
Rather, what I would do when I met each person is: let them borrow my 1950's style home movie camera for 1 day.
The documentary would consist of footage filmed by autistic people about things that each individual found interesting and/or relevant. (Not relevant to autism research. Relevant to life).
It would be ok if anyone wanted to use their own digital camera. And people could chose their own soundtracks to go with the films.
sharing
You think THAT's a suspicious package? said my one friend who is a drummer at O'Mara's. Try the large unmarked box that arrives on my lawn from Turkey.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
normal summer hours
This summer, Sharon and I have a contractual agreement. The specific language of that agreement is "we are not going to talk about distressing topics such as the Writing Center or Francie during Normal Summer Hours".
Fast forward to today. I went up to the writing center to put a box there where my students could drop off their portfolios. Catherine like went crazy. You can't do that, you can't do that, you can't do that without the permission of the director.
So I dragged my scraggly assed box to the outside of the office for students with disabilities, where I always seem to end up.
Sharon called me at that moment and I told her my minor pathetic story.
Um, said Sharon, not to violate our agreement, but um, you better take your box up there and put it on the Writing Centor Director's desk so your students can drop off their work.
I can't do that without permission....I started.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaagh Sharon said so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. Who is the Writing Center director?
Sharon is the writing center director.
Who is the Writing Center director?
Sharon is the Writing Center Director.
Say it. Who is the Writing Center Director?
You are.
Now go put your box on my desk.
Fast forward to today. I went up to the writing center to put a box there where my students could drop off their portfolios. Catherine like went crazy. You can't do that, you can't do that, you can't do that without the permission of the director.
So I dragged my scraggly assed box to the outside of the office for students with disabilities, where I always seem to end up.
Sharon called me at that moment and I told her my minor pathetic story.
Um, said Sharon, not to violate our agreement, but um, you better take your box up there and put it on the Writing Centor Director's desk so your students can drop off their work.
I can't do that without permission....I started.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaagh Sharon said so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. Who is the Writing Center director?
Sharon is the writing center director.
Who is the Writing Center director?
Sharon is the Writing Center Director.
Say it. Who is the Writing Center Director?
You are.
Now go put your box on my desk.
priorities
What are you doing with your extra 120 dollars per paycheck?
Things I meant to do
pay off parking tickets
buy Fall clothes
invest in concealer
get groceries
Things I have done
put off getting a second job
reread the Autobiography of Malcolm X
rented at least 1 movie every day
replaced Fugees cd
Things I meant to do
pay off parking tickets
buy Fall clothes
invest in concealer
get groceries
Things I have done
put off getting a second job
reread the Autobiography of Malcolm X
rented at least 1 movie every day
replaced Fugees cd
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
but still haunted at times by the mystery and problem of her.
The 1 situation in human life that is more abysmal than having nothing is having 1 thing, because you will nail it to the floor and twist the walls and the writing on the walls around to keep the 1 thing you have undisturbed.
People are strange,and bad, and good, and so, the end. Name deleted is like the scar from when I accidentally stapled my hand. I want to reach into the past and pull her out.
The 1 situation in human life that is more abysmal than having nothing is having 1 thing, because you will nail it to the floor and twist the walls and the writing on the walls around to keep the 1 thing you have undisturbed.
People are strange,and bad, and good, and so, the end. Name deleted is like the scar from when I accidentally stapled my hand. I want to reach into the past and pull her out.
according to schedule,
This morning I threw up *everywhere*. I think I have decided to stick with the tradition of throwing up 1 time per semester, the week my students' grades are due.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
the art of teaching assignment request forms
Every TA has a special strategy to make sure their requested teaching schedule goes through. Some TAs put in their requests super early. "Senior" TAs have their special faculty put in a good word. A few of them try to work out special deals with Dick before the form reaches Margaret's desk.
So here's my strategy: Every semester, I simply write "English 1020: Introduction to College Writing. MWF 8am-11 back to back. Love, Hilary".
This way, I can rest assured that my request will be granted. AND I can say what am thinking to Margaret and Robert at Departmental Assemblies even if it will tick them off (and it does. it does. ).
So here's my strategy: Every semester, I simply write "English 1020: Introduction to College Writing. MWF 8am-11 back to back. Love, Hilary".
This way, I can rest assured that my request will be granted. AND I can say what am thinking to Margaret and Robert at Departmental Assemblies even if it will tick them off (and it does. it does. ).
If they could focus on the math, they'd probably rebel
number of eyebrows: 2
number of WORKING indoor toilets: 0
current height: 5'6" 1/2 (gettin taller!)
current weight: 118.5
height of jerkass students (combined): 19'5"
weight of jerkass students (combined): 473 lbs
current mood: scared
number of WORKING indoor toilets: 0
current height: 5'6" 1/2 (gettin taller!)
current weight: 118.5
height of jerkass students (combined): 19'5"
weight of jerkass students (combined): 473 lbs
current mood: scared
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Neal hears and understands
but he pretends he doesn't.
Sometimes I think this makes Neal a big honking poophead, but actually, his behavior is probably good for me.
Sometimes I think this makes Neal a big honking poophead, but actually, his behavior is probably good for me.
phil's email to rick caldwell
a collaborative parody written by Phil, Catherine and me (note: phil okayed the posting of this email on my blog).
-----Original Message-----
From: Penoose39
To: ac0365@wayne.edu
Sent: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 17:14:33 -0400
Subject: EPE Reviews for THURSDAY, JULY 21
Hi Rick.
I sincerely hope you've had a pleasant day, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I cannot overstate my concern for your personal well-being.
I just wanted to let you know, lest you think otherwise and perhaps make an unnecessary trip over here in such unspeakably hot weather, that we have no reviews for tomorrow. As such, there is no need whatsoever to access your extensive files and "pull" anything. While you are undoubtedly eminently capable of searching for the students' names, locating each individual test, and bringing the exams over to the Writing Center, you can revel in the simple fact that such trifling minutiae will not be required of you today.
Nope...we're fine over here.
You can go ahead and tell Katie that my final day will indeed be August 19.
Thanks, and may the remainder of your day be filled with peace and happiness.
Phil
-----Original Message-----
From: Penoose39
To: ac0365@wayne.edu
Sent: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 17:14:33 -0400
Subject: EPE Reviews for THURSDAY, JULY 21
Hi Rick.
I sincerely hope you've had a pleasant day, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I cannot overstate my concern for your personal well-being.
I just wanted to let you know, lest you think otherwise and perhaps make an unnecessary trip over here in such unspeakably hot weather, that we have no reviews for tomorrow. As such, there is no need whatsoever to access your extensive files and "pull" anything. While you are undoubtedly eminently capable of searching for the students' names, locating each individual test, and bringing the exams over to the Writing Center, you can revel in the simple fact that such trifling minutiae will not be required of you today.
Nope...we're fine over here.
You can go ahead and tell Katie that my final day will indeed be August 19.
Thanks, and may the remainder of your day be filled with peace and happiness.
Phil
the sound of grit
dactylic pairs of monosyllable words:
ass rape
fuse box
fuck wit
spark plug
rug burn
gay wad
hex nut
pipe snake
grade change
ass rape
fuse box
fuck wit
spark plug
rug burn
gay wad
hex nut
pipe snake
grade change
no matter what neighborhood I move to
it seems like the same exploding toilet keeps following me around.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
prasad.
prasad: shit that can be burned beyond recognition and still taste good.
explanation: at the end of a Hindu prayer, you select a small item burn in symbolic sacrifice brahman (the metaphysical blur that rules the universe). Then you eat your fire sacrifice smeared with honey.
So, the universe has been living mostly off of dough and s'mores for the last 1,000 years.
In fact, I think that this is technically how gulab jamun was created.
explanation: at the end of a Hindu prayer, you select a small item burn in symbolic sacrifice brahman (the metaphysical blur that rules the universe). Then you eat your fire sacrifice smeared with honey.
So, the universe has been living mostly off of dough and s'mores for the last 1,000 years.
In fact, I think that this is technically how gulab jamun was created.
the second law of thermodynamics
states that once something is thrown out the window, it can't fly back in.
google results
negative self consciousness+girls+autism
a researcher named Peter Szatsmarti, who participates in the Yale autism superproject, correlates 11 triggers of tacticle defensiveness to temporary negative self-consciousness in adolescent girls with HFA/AS.
Nonautistic people's research does not normally yeild potentially useful information.
so,
6. Conduct backyard research.
a researcher named Peter Szatsmarti, who participates in the Yale autism superproject, correlates 11 triggers of tacticle defensiveness to temporary negative self-consciousness in adolescent girls with HFA/AS.
Nonautistic people's research does not normally yeild potentially useful information.
so,
6. Conduct backyard research.
Things to do this week:
1. create a "habitat for humanity" sign to hang on my door, with cartoon drawings of insects, racoons and worms crossed out.
2. drink a lot of wine and walk around apartment with hammer.
3. " " " " and bravely face the challenge "some assembly required".
4. " " " " and look at naked body in mirror.
5. go to hindu temple in Pontiac to pray to find happiness in sex and money in washing machine.
6. write campy story called "Rent: the musical" about the creative arts, sex and landlord-tenant law. Oh wait, that's already been done.
7. have sex.
8. with human person.
9. Create 4 subtly different drafts of statement of purpose for dissertation based on conflicting inner needs of Ruth, Gwen, Ellen and Francie. Distribute confidently.
1. create a "habitat for humanity" sign to hang on my door, with cartoon drawings of insects, racoons and worms crossed out.
2. drink a lot of wine and walk around apartment with hammer.
3. " " " " and bravely face the challenge "some assembly required".
4. " " " " and look at naked body in mirror.
5. go to hindu temple in Pontiac to pray to find happiness in sex and money in washing machine.
6. write campy story called "Rent: the musical" about the creative arts, sex and landlord-tenant law. Oh wait, that's already been done.
7. have sex.
8. with human person.
9. Create 4 subtly different drafts of statement of purpose for dissertation based on conflicting inner needs of Ruth, Gwen, Ellen and Francie. Distribute confidently.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
religious tolerance
How many gods exist?
a) o (zen buddhism)
b) 1 (Islam)
b) 1-3 (Christianity)
c) as many as it takes (Hinduism).
a) o (zen buddhism)
b) 1 (Islam)
b) 1-3 (Christianity)
c) as many as it takes (Hinduism).
East meets West
It's time for ritual fasting again according to the aruvedic calendar, which I've downloaded into my Nokia cell phone.
insight
all I can do is continue to be Hilary and create a space for people to come into and be themselves.
Neal and Name Deleted
"I keep losing respect for her. It is like watching carpenters perform brain surgery".
the way he says my name
with slight emphasis on the last syllable: Hilary.
I want to hear it right now.
And when my apartment got wrecked, it seemed (to me) like if I could be right with him for a minute, and taste my name on his mouth, the house would miraculously reconstruct itself.
Of course, I'm smart enough to reject that kind of thinking and focus on the task at hand.
But I still thought it.
I want to hear it right now.
And when my apartment got wrecked, it seemed (to me) like if I could be right with him for a minute, and taste my name on his mouth, the house would miraculously reconstruct itself.
Of course, I'm smart enough to reject that kind of thinking and focus on the task at hand.
But I still thought it.
my basic philosophy of life
is exemplified by a song that my mom was listening to in her car. And it goes,
"down in the jungle living in a tent/ you don't use money you don't pay rent/you don't even know the time, but you don't mind".
"down in the jungle living in a tent/ you don't use money you don't pay rent/you don't even know the time, but you don't mind".
Monday, July 11, 2005
turning point
"At some time on Friday I reached this incredible turning point, where I stopped describing the mess to random people". Aida.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
parents
My hippie catholic parents are the best people around.
Actually, my biological mother and father are my favorite human beings. My two step parents are somewhat alien. I do get on super well with my stepdad, and my stepmom, well, we have worked our way to a hi-bye relationship.
But I can see why my bio mom and dad get along better with the step aliens than with each other.
Actually, my biological mother and father are my favorite human beings. My two step parents are somewhat alien. I do get on super well with my stepdad, and my stepmom, well, we have worked our way to a hi-bye relationship.
But I can see why my bio mom and dad get along better with the step aliens than with each other.
Hilary's New Address
Hilary has moved.
I am staying with my hippie Catholic parents in West Bloomfield till the house on the West Side is up to code.
I am staying with my hippie Catholic parents in West Bloomfield till the house on the West Side is up to code.
like, if I had written the book
tea cake wouldn't have died, he would have been mistakenly eaten. Oh wait. That's what did happen.
current stats
current weight: 1 million pounds (now constitutes Serious Emergency).
goal-weight-sub-1: 118 pounds
deadline: Thursday morning (am dissolving Fat Hilary and the boron powder on the same timetable for handy scheduling)
note that this month's goal weight is last month's Serious Emergency. but happiness is the pursuit of attainable goals.
Weight at which same no longer constitutes Serious Emergency: 116 lbs
Hilary's normal boring happy weight: 112 lbs.
goal-weight-sub-1: 118 pounds
deadline: Thursday morning (am dissolving Fat Hilary and the boron powder on the same timetable for handy scheduling)
note that this month's goal weight is last month's Serious Emergency. but happiness is the pursuit of attainable goals.
Weight at which same no longer constitutes Serious Emergency: 116 lbs
Hilary's normal boring happy weight: 112 lbs.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
the content of the words and phrases
had to do with how knowing how to zaggareit is not a useful survival skill in North America.
Neal used to say
that no one in North America has a right to complain about their signal strength when equally smart, sensitive and valuable people are forced to live in trees with no wifi in Rwanda.
I'd like to add that people's right to complain increases as their lifestyle approximates that of refugees in developing nations.
I'd like to add that people's right to complain increases as their lifestyle approximates that of refugees in developing nations.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
numbers
stairways of doom: 1
collapsing chairs: 2
refrigerator puddles: 2
working utilities: 2 (of 3)
mirage appliances: 6
unlabeled keys: 7
cockroaches: zillions
dance mirrors: 1
multilingual swear words learned: 3
cute boy neighbors: 1
impossible boxes: 4 more
collapsing chairs: 2
refrigerator puddles: 2
working utilities: 2 (of 3)
mirage appliances: 6
unlabeled keys: 7
cockroaches: zillions
dance mirrors: 1
multilingual swear words learned: 3
cute boy neighbors: 1
impossible boxes: 4 more
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
He is not.
A:
"Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others".
No way. The social antennae of an A.I. is the equivalent of a nerf mallett. You can't do a snow job on us. We're not socially perceptive enough to be complicit in our own manipulation.
B:
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
Ok, like, if Nichols were a real AI, he wouldn't need to be manipulated into wanting to blow up nonautistic people.
What AIs need is a fucking Malcolm x, not this kid's mom.
C:
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
Now you know that Wilt is either illiterate or scamming, because there is NO person in AI culture who has not read The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Nighttime.
Maybe the AIs in Lapeer haven't started asking questions yet.
"Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others".
No way. The social antennae of an A.I. is the equivalent of a nerf mallett. You can't do a snow job on us. We're not socially perceptive enough to be complicit in our own manipulation.
B:
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
Ok, like, if Nichols were a real AI, he wouldn't need to be manipulated into wanting to blow up nonautistic people.
What AIs need is a fucking Malcolm x, not this kid's mom.
C:
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
Now you know that Wilt is either illiterate or scamming, because there is NO person in AI culture who has not read The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Nighttime.
Maybe the AIs in Lapeer haven't started asking questions yet.
no way
soundtrack: kill you (Eminem)
Here it is in syndicate:
**************************************************************************
Prosecutors have contended that Nichols willingly helped McVeigh plan and carry out the bombing. Wilt said she believes others were involved in the bombing and that the FBI is hiding it.
Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She said McVeigh took advantage of Nichols to get him to help with the bombing preparations and that he threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
**********************************************************************************
um
no.
Here it is in syndicate:
**************************************************************************
Prosecutors have contended that Nichols willingly helped McVeigh plan and carry out the bombing. Wilt said she believes others were involved in the bombing and that the FBI is hiding it.
Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She said McVeigh took advantage of Nichols to get him to help with the bombing preparations and that he threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
**********************************************************************************
um
no.
Jesus CHRIST
what the fuck
OKLAHOMA CITY The mother of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols tells The Associated Press that he's been giving details about the 1995 attack to the F-B-I.
Joyce Wilt tells the A-P that Nichols has been telling the F-B-I about his involvement in the bombing that killed 168 people. She says he admitted helping Timothy McVeigh acquire fertilizer and fuel to make the explosive and helping assemble bomb components. But she says her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb and never asked.
She says Nichols has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She says McVeigh threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
OKLAHOMA CITY The mother of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols tells The Associated Press that he's been giving details about the 1995 attack to the F-B-I.
Joyce Wilt tells the A-P that Nichols has been telling the F-B-I about his involvement in the bombing that killed 168 people. She says he admitted helping Timothy McVeigh acquire fertilizer and fuel to make the explosive and helping assemble bomb components. But she says her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb and never asked.
She says Nichols has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She says McVeigh threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
best sex ever
Last night I had the best sex *ever*. Unfortuately it was with an electric toothbrush that I found while packing.
Friday, July 01, 2005
intoxicating
Thursday night, I stood on Sharon's front porch baring my left wrist.
This is the scent of bare sexuality I said.
Hmm, said Sharon sensibly. Smells a lot like like hypoallergenic cake mix. Which by the way I just bought some more at Nutri Foods. See on the box: "This baking mix contains no:
wheat
dairy
peanuts
tree nuts
egg
soy
fish
shellfish"
And I felt the surrealistic jolt of being snached from one world and thrown into another, a theme that was also addressed by the latest episode of Lizzy McGuire.
This is the scent of bare sexuality I said.
Hmm, said Sharon sensibly. Smells a lot like like hypoallergenic cake mix. Which by the way I just bought some more at Nutri Foods. See on the box: "This baking mix contains no:
wheat
dairy
peanuts
tree nuts
egg
soy
fish
shellfish"
And I felt the surrealistic jolt of being snached from one world and thrown into another, a theme that was also addressed by the latest episode of Lizzy McGuire.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)