the mountain of stuff in my backyard
is more ghetto fabulous than I am.
Technically the term does apply to Aida, an internationally acclaimed middle eastern dancer.
I'm just living in her attic.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
prasad.
prasad: shit that can be burned beyond recognition and still taste good.
explanation: at the end of a Hindu prayer, you select a small item burn in symbolic sacrifice brahman (the metaphysical blur that rules the universe). Then you eat your fire sacrifice smeared with honey.
So, the universe has been living mostly off of dough and s'mores for the last 1,000 years.
In fact, I think that this is technically how gulab jamun was created.
explanation: at the end of a Hindu prayer, you select a small item burn in symbolic sacrifice brahman (the metaphysical blur that rules the universe). Then you eat your fire sacrifice smeared with honey.
So, the universe has been living mostly off of dough and s'mores for the last 1,000 years.
In fact, I think that this is technically how gulab jamun was created.
the second law of thermodynamics
states that once something is thrown out the window, it can't fly back in.
google results
negative self consciousness+girls+autism
a researcher named Peter Szatsmarti, who participates in the Yale autism superproject, correlates 11 triggers of tacticle defensiveness to temporary negative self-consciousness in adolescent girls with HFA/AS.
Nonautistic people's research does not normally yeild potentially useful information.
so,
6. Conduct backyard research.
a researcher named Peter Szatsmarti, who participates in the Yale autism superproject, correlates 11 triggers of tacticle defensiveness to temporary negative self-consciousness in adolescent girls with HFA/AS.
Nonautistic people's research does not normally yeild potentially useful information.
so,
6. Conduct backyard research.
Things to do this week:
1. create a "habitat for humanity" sign to hang on my door, with cartoon drawings of insects, racoons and worms crossed out.
2. drink a lot of wine and walk around apartment with hammer.
3. " " " " and bravely face the challenge "some assembly required".
4. " " " " and look at naked body in mirror.
5. go to hindu temple in Pontiac to pray to find happiness in sex and money in washing machine.
6. write campy story called "Rent: the musical" about the creative arts, sex and landlord-tenant law. Oh wait, that's already been done.
7. have sex.
8. with human person.
9. Create 4 subtly different drafts of statement of purpose for dissertation based on conflicting inner needs of Ruth, Gwen, Ellen and Francie. Distribute confidently.
1. create a "habitat for humanity" sign to hang on my door, with cartoon drawings of insects, racoons and worms crossed out.
2. drink a lot of wine and walk around apartment with hammer.
3. " " " " and bravely face the challenge "some assembly required".
4. " " " " and look at naked body in mirror.
5. go to hindu temple in Pontiac to pray to find happiness in sex and money in washing machine.
6. write campy story called "Rent: the musical" about the creative arts, sex and landlord-tenant law. Oh wait, that's already been done.
7. have sex.
8. with human person.
9. Create 4 subtly different drafts of statement of purpose for dissertation based on conflicting inner needs of Ruth, Gwen, Ellen and Francie. Distribute confidently.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
religious tolerance
How many gods exist?
a) o (zen buddhism)
b) 1 (Islam)
b) 1-3 (Christianity)
c) as many as it takes (Hinduism).
a) o (zen buddhism)
b) 1 (Islam)
b) 1-3 (Christianity)
c) as many as it takes (Hinduism).
East meets West
It's time for ritual fasting again according to the aruvedic calendar, which I've downloaded into my Nokia cell phone.
insight
all I can do is continue to be Hilary and create a space for people to come into and be themselves.
Neal and Name Deleted
"I keep losing respect for her. It is like watching carpenters perform brain surgery".
the way he says my name
with slight emphasis on the last syllable: Hilary.
I want to hear it right now.
And when my apartment got wrecked, it seemed (to me) like if I could be right with him for a minute, and taste my name on his mouth, the house would miraculously reconstruct itself.
Of course, I'm smart enough to reject that kind of thinking and focus on the task at hand.
But I still thought it.
I want to hear it right now.
And when my apartment got wrecked, it seemed (to me) like if I could be right with him for a minute, and taste my name on his mouth, the house would miraculously reconstruct itself.
Of course, I'm smart enough to reject that kind of thinking and focus on the task at hand.
But I still thought it.
my basic philosophy of life
is exemplified by a song that my mom was listening to in her car. And it goes,
"down in the jungle living in a tent/ you don't use money you don't pay rent/you don't even know the time, but you don't mind".
"down in the jungle living in a tent/ you don't use money you don't pay rent/you don't even know the time, but you don't mind".
Monday, July 11, 2005
turning point
"At some time on Friday I reached this incredible turning point, where I stopped describing the mess to random people". Aida.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
parents
My hippie catholic parents are the best people around.
Actually, my biological mother and father are my favorite human beings. My two step parents are somewhat alien. I do get on super well with my stepdad, and my stepmom, well, we have worked our way to a hi-bye relationship.
But I can see why my bio mom and dad get along better with the step aliens than with each other.
Actually, my biological mother and father are my favorite human beings. My two step parents are somewhat alien. I do get on super well with my stepdad, and my stepmom, well, we have worked our way to a hi-bye relationship.
But I can see why my bio mom and dad get along better with the step aliens than with each other.
Hilary's New Address
Hilary has moved.
I am staying with my hippie Catholic parents in West Bloomfield till the house on the West Side is up to code.
I am staying with my hippie Catholic parents in West Bloomfield till the house on the West Side is up to code.
like, if I had written the book
tea cake wouldn't have died, he would have been mistakenly eaten. Oh wait. That's what did happen.
current stats
current weight: 1 million pounds (now constitutes Serious Emergency).
goal-weight-sub-1: 118 pounds
deadline: Thursday morning (am dissolving Fat Hilary and the boron powder on the same timetable for handy scheduling)
note that this month's goal weight is last month's Serious Emergency. but happiness is the pursuit of attainable goals.
Weight at which same no longer constitutes Serious Emergency: 116 lbs
Hilary's normal boring happy weight: 112 lbs.
goal-weight-sub-1: 118 pounds
deadline: Thursday morning (am dissolving Fat Hilary and the boron powder on the same timetable for handy scheduling)
note that this month's goal weight is last month's Serious Emergency. but happiness is the pursuit of attainable goals.
Weight at which same no longer constitutes Serious Emergency: 116 lbs
Hilary's normal boring happy weight: 112 lbs.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
the content of the words and phrases
had to do with how knowing how to zaggareit is not a useful survival skill in North America.
Neal used to say
that no one in North America has a right to complain about their signal strength when equally smart, sensitive and valuable people are forced to live in trees with no wifi in Rwanda.
I'd like to add that people's right to complain increases as their lifestyle approximates that of refugees in developing nations.
I'd like to add that people's right to complain increases as their lifestyle approximates that of refugees in developing nations.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
numbers
stairways of doom: 1
collapsing chairs: 2
refrigerator puddles: 2
working utilities: 2 (of 3)
mirage appliances: 6
unlabeled keys: 7
cockroaches: zillions
dance mirrors: 1
multilingual swear words learned: 3
cute boy neighbors: 1
impossible boxes: 4 more
collapsing chairs: 2
refrigerator puddles: 2
working utilities: 2 (of 3)
mirage appliances: 6
unlabeled keys: 7
cockroaches: zillions
dance mirrors: 1
multilingual swear words learned: 3
cute boy neighbors: 1
impossible boxes: 4 more
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
He is not.
A:
"Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others".
No way. The social antennae of an A.I. is the equivalent of a nerf mallett. You can't do a snow job on us. We're not socially perceptive enough to be complicit in our own manipulation.
B:
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
Ok, like, if Nichols were a real AI, he wouldn't need to be manipulated into wanting to blow up nonautistic people.
What AIs need is a fucking Malcolm x, not this kid's mom.
C:
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
Now you know that Wilt is either illiterate or scamming, because there is NO person in AI culture who has not read The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Nighttime.
Maybe the AIs in Lapeer haven't started asking questions yet.
"Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others".
No way. The social antennae of an A.I. is the equivalent of a nerf mallett. You can't do a snow job on us. We're not socially perceptive enough to be complicit in our own manipulation.
B:
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
Ok, like, if Nichols were a real AI, he wouldn't need to be manipulated into wanting to blow up nonautistic people.
What AIs need is a fucking Malcolm x, not this kid's mom.
C:
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
Now you know that Wilt is either illiterate or scamming, because there is NO person in AI culture who has not read The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Nighttime.
Maybe the AIs in Lapeer haven't started asking questions yet.
no way
soundtrack: kill you (Eminem)
Here it is in syndicate:
**************************************************************************
Prosecutors have contended that Nichols willingly helped McVeigh plan and carry out the bombing. Wilt said she believes others were involved in the bombing and that the FBI is hiding it.
Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She said McVeigh took advantage of Nichols to get him to help with the bombing preparations and that he threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
**********************************************************************************
um
no.
Here it is in syndicate:
**************************************************************************
Prosecutors have contended that Nichols willingly helped McVeigh plan and carry out the bombing. Wilt said she believes others were involved in the bombing and that the FBI is hiding it.
Wilt contends her son suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She said McVeigh took advantage of Nichols to get him to help with the bombing preparations and that he threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
"Terry was just being protective of all of us," Wilt said. "It just breaks my heart, because he was a good kid. He got out in the world and people started taking advantage of him."
She said her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb.
"He didn't ask. People with that type of syndrome don't do that," Wilt said. "When you ask him to do something, he just does it."
**********************************************************************************
um
no.
Jesus CHRIST
what the fuck
OKLAHOMA CITY The mother of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols tells The Associated Press that he's been giving details about the 1995 attack to the F-B-I.
Joyce Wilt tells the A-P that Nichols has been telling the F-B-I about his involvement in the bombing that killed 168 people. She says he admitted helping Timothy McVeigh acquire fertilizer and fuel to make the explosive and helping assemble bomb components. But she says her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb and never asked.
She says Nichols has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She says McVeigh threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
OKLAHOMA CITY The mother of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols tells The Associated Press that he's been giving details about the 1995 attack to the F-B-I.
Joyce Wilt tells the A-P that Nichols has been telling the F-B-I about his involvement in the bombing that killed 168 people. She says he admitted helping Timothy McVeigh acquire fertilizer and fuel to make the explosive and helping assemble bomb components. But she says her son didn't know what McVeigh planned to do with the bomb and never asked.
She says Nichols has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that allowed him to be easily manipulated by others. She says McVeigh threatened to harm Nichols and his family if he didn't comply.
best sex ever
Last night I had the best sex *ever*. Unfortuately it was with an electric toothbrush that I found while packing.
Friday, July 01, 2005
intoxicating
Thursday night, I stood on Sharon's front porch baring my left wrist.
This is the scent of bare sexuality I said.
Hmm, said Sharon sensibly. Smells a lot like like hypoallergenic cake mix. Which by the way I just bought some more at Nutri Foods. See on the box: "This baking mix contains no:
wheat
dairy
peanuts
tree nuts
egg
soy
fish
shellfish"
And I felt the surrealistic jolt of being snached from one world and thrown into another, a theme that was also addressed by the latest episode of Lizzy McGuire.
This is the scent of bare sexuality I said.
Hmm, said Sharon sensibly. Smells a lot like like hypoallergenic cake mix. Which by the way I just bought some more at Nutri Foods. See on the box: "This baking mix contains no:
wheat
dairy
peanuts
tree nuts
egg
soy
fish
shellfish"
And I felt the surrealistic jolt of being snached from one world and thrown into another, a theme that was also addressed by the latest episode of Lizzy McGuire.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
not that anyone cares
I sank in the chair. 4 more weeks, I said, and then I can wear the hair god protectively gave my welsh ancestors to blend in with the sheep and not be eaten by Britons.
you know the story said the girl who cuts my hair, if you can sit still while I take it out, you can wear your natural hair.
I sank more, remembeering that hair extensions were supposed to be a 2 week expirment for me last year. But I couldn't sit still to have them unextended, so we just kept gradually maintaing what is there.
do you have any evidence to support the idea thtat in 4 weeks you will be able to sit stull while I take the knots out
no
then you can expect the same thing to keep happening
I started feeling really really bad about myself, and then a smart idea happened in my mind. The smart idea is to shave my head and start over and just wear someone elses' hair NOT attached to my head for 4 weeks and then simply stop wearing the other persons' hair. I got this idea from the book I am reading.
So that's what I did. And I'm extremely proud of my decision. And of this custom made hairpeice. It's feather light and feels like a terrycloth tee. It looks expensively real.
you know the story said the girl who cuts my hair, if you can sit still while I take it out, you can wear your natural hair.
I sank more, remembeering that hair extensions were supposed to be a 2 week expirment for me last year. But I couldn't sit still to have them unextended, so we just kept gradually maintaing what is there.
do you have any evidence to support the idea thtat in 4 weeks you will be able to sit stull while I take the knots out
no
then you can expect the same thing to keep happening
I started feeling really really bad about myself, and then a smart idea happened in my mind. The smart idea is to shave my head and start over and just wear someone elses' hair NOT attached to my head for 4 weeks and then simply stop wearing the other persons' hair. I got this idea from the book I am reading.
So that's what I did. And I'm extremely proud of my decision. And of this custom made hairpeice. It's feather light and feels like a terrycloth tee. It looks expensively real.
Ew!
Neal lay on the bed wrapping a strand of Meg's hair around his ring finger. Ew, he said, I make myself sick.
as told to Joel
Every time I read this with my students, I try to match the people around me to the characters in the autobiography, I said to Joel. For instance I am the fierce spirited Malcolm with a flair for storytelling, fjr is Cassius Clay and Elijah is--
Wait, said joel calmly. Tell me who fjr is again?
Cassius. Cassius clay.
Joel looked as though he was going to burst.
Wait, said joel calmly. Tell me who fjr is again?
Cassius. Cassius clay.
Joel looked as though he was going to burst.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
students with crushes
How you react really does depend on your secret evaluation of their appearance.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
smartasses
My students and I read The Autobiography of Malcom X together every semester. Their papers were due yesterday.
2 students stayed after class.
Student 1 said he could not write his paper because his car caught on fire.
Now is that the real truth, said student 2, or the truth as told to Alex Haley?
2 students stayed after class.
Student 1 said he could not write his paper because his car caught on fire.
Now is that the real truth, said student 2, or the truth as told to Alex Haley?
boredom
Last night Madison tipped over her toy box and a grownup cabbage patch doll and a football tumbled out.
Let's play house, said Madison, grabbing the doll, I'll be the mommy, and you be the football.
Let's play house, said Madison, grabbing the doll, I'll be the mommy, and you be the football.
my students are smarter than yours
My English 1020 student, Christine, explains Diels-Adler reactions to nonspecialists:
I thought the best way to start talking about a fairly dry and complex subject might be to make an analogy. Instead of your everyday analogy I am going to relate a Diels-Alder reaction to the events of a smutty novel. After the analogy I will then explain the terms and concepts and might still seem a little fuzzy to those non-pasty, real carbon based life forms (a.k.a. people). However, before we get too far ahead of ourselves I will need to make up names for the molecules involved in this reaction. The part of Diane Dieneophile will be played by a dieneophile. The conjoined twins Dan and Derek Butadiene will be played by a butadiene.
I thought the best way to start talking about a fairly dry and complex subject might be to make an analogy. Instead of your everyday analogy I am going to relate a Diels-Alder reaction to the events of a smutty novel. After the analogy I will then explain the terms and concepts and might still seem a little fuzzy to those non-pasty, real carbon based life forms (a.k.a. people). However, before we get too far ahead of ourselves I will need to make up names for the molecules involved in this reaction. The part of Diane Dieneophile will be played by a dieneophile. The conjoined twins Dan and Derek Butadiene will be played by a butadiene.
a hindu reads the warning label
summary of human history: how men formed a complex, intimate bond with hazardous materials
a hindu perspective on the Nation
Lots of mornings I wish I owned nothing but a breifcase, dress slacks and my car.
But nothing is not something that you can own or be.
But nothing is not something that you can own or be.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Eastside attitude
Today when the homeless man said, how much for a blow job, I almost replied in disgust.
but I was too tired to say the word "ecofeminism".
(pause)
five hundred dollars, I said.
And the homless man went away.
Hey, I shouted after him, we all gotta make a living in this fucking economy.
but I was too tired to say the word "ecofeminism".
(pause)
five hundred dollars, I said.
And the homless man went away.
Hey, I shouted after him, we all gotta make a living in this fucking economy.
meet
Meghan.
Proposed name change: Nealandmeghan.
It's neat how, when two people stick together, their names turn into 1 linguistic unit.
Sharon calls Richard and trish Rishandtrichard,switching the consonants for an added creep factor.
Proposed name change: Nealandmeghan.
It's neat how, when two people stick together, their names turn into 1 linguistic unit.
Sharon calls Richard and trish Rishandtrichard,switching the consonants for an added creep factor.
tacit knowledge
I know that if I were to just stop eating animals and segue back to natural hair, the Almighty and me could just...chill.
Monday, June 20, 2005
the second mary left the car
after the arabic festival I thought,
From a sociolingustic standpoint, what the HELL just happened? And I'll bet that if this conversation were to result in an actual buying trip, roxanne's friend Islam could help us see about those she-camels (see the episode where r. is nearly sold into sex slavery).
Hilary
From a sociolingustic standpoint, what the HELL just happened? And I'll bet that if this conversation were to result in an actual buying trip, roxanne's friend Islam could help us see about those she-camels (see the episode where r. is nearly sold into sex slavery).
Hilary
everything is illuminated
A. What if love is not wanting to be with someone all the time, wanting them all to yourself and being afraid that they are going to leave you?
(because I know I've never felt that way)
B. What if instead love means being able to look at someone and think, it does not exactly matter if you go or stay here with me because, in the end, what you are inspiring me to create in my own heart right now is FAR cooler than anything you are capable of taking away?
(because I know I've never felt that way)
B. What if instead love means being able to look at someone and think, it does not exactly matter if you go or stay here with me because, in the end, what you are inspiring me to create in my own heart right now is FAR cooler than anything you are capable of taking away?
you wish you had written this
This is a poem by amiri baraka about the theme of being approximately 24 years old.
Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus . . .
Things have come to that.
And now, each night I count the stars,
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.
Nobody sings anymore.
And then last night, I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there . . .
Only she on her knees, peeking into
Her own clasped hands
Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus . . .
Things have come to that.
And now, each night I count the stars,
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.
Nobody sings anymore.
And then last night, I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there . . .
Only she on her knees, peeking into
Her own clasped hands
current stats
patches of eczema: 11 (horray!)
current weight: 124 (on oral steroids). have embraced temporary plushness.
animals eaten: 4 (exemplary)
today's attack thoughts:
I live inside someone who hates me and look out her eyes
(not depressed, just reading baraka)
Joel's response:
wow, I love that line! You know, Winter semester I cancelled a week of class because I thought amiri baraka was coming to read at Wayne State. Then I found out it was a lie but class stayed cancelled because I had to recover from the POSSIBILITY of him coming to read here.
current weight: 124 (on oral steroids). have embraced temporary plushness.
animals eaten: 4 (exemplary)
today's attack thoughts:
I live inside someone who hates me and look out her eyes
(not depressed, just reading baraka)
Joel's response:
wow, I love that line! You know, Winter semester I cancelled a week of class because I thought amiri baraka was coming to read at Wayne State. Then I found out it was a lie but class stayed cancelled because I had to recover from the POSSIBILITY of him coming to read here.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
math problem
Autism+Stress= zero immunity
zero immunity+exercise=eczema
eczema+autism=untreated eczema
zero immunity+exercise=eczema
eczema+autism=untreated eczema
nuisance list
fucking....
mizmar
"blessing" of infinitely witty gods
8 lbs
Omie
invisible senna
curebie parents
MIS speedway traffic
eczema
MIA sunglasses
mizmar
"blessing" of infinitely witty gods
8 lbs
Omie
invisible senna
curebie parents
MIS speedway traffic
eczema
MIA sunglasses
ai
all ai people look super charming, said my friend, it's like sole protective gear.
look at me while I am talking to you:
and sounding out the vowel teams
in terrycloth pyjamas
look at me while I am talking to you:
and sounding out the vowel teams
in terrycloth pyjamas
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
numbers
Patches of eczema: 4 (symptomatic of underlying condition)
miles sprinted: 11 (since Friday)
current mood (in Michigan beer): hungry
miles sprinted: 11 (since Friday)
current mood (in Michigan beer): hungry
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
a platonic dialogue between Hello Kitty and Chococat
Hello, Kitty--
A strange new thing is happening to me: every five seconds, my girls ask me if I am in love with the guy I like. While I do know it's not just infatuation, I find it difficult to answer their question in an accurate and meaningful way. For instance, you can have a lasting affection for someone without loving them, and plus, you can love someone without being in love. How do I know if it's true love for sure?
Chococat
Chococat,
Wow, this sure is a tough question--and I predict that this man will be ancient history long before you come up with an applicable definition of what it means to be in love for you. Fortunately, your girls' question does not require you to look into your heart and determine if you are in love for real.
In a sociolinguistic sense, Chococat, your girls' question is called an illocutionary speech act. An illocutionary speech act means that your girls' question has a pragmatic function vis a vis your relationship with them, not him.
To put it another way: when your friends ask you "Chococat, are you in love?", you can translate the question as "Chococat, you are being dumb. As your friends, would you like us to a)be beacons of reason or b) smile indulgently. By saying "I am in love", you assert your social right to enjoy this man without being continuously reminded of how dumb you look while doing it.
Remember, your girl friends have an implied contract to be honest and direct with you. So when you answer their question, consider this: do you trust this man enough to forfeit your right to hear other peoples' informed reservations? do you really want to ask the girls to be as blind and dumb as you are? Again, your answer reflects your expectations for their behavior, not the introspective state of your heart.
Whether it's like, love or infatuation, Kitty's ability to reason and plan is probably going to go to sleep for awhile. Rest assured that the girls will be there when you wake up, regardless of how you chose to define your experience.
Goodbye
Kitty.
A strange new thing is happening to me: every five seconds, my girls ask me if I am in love with the guy I like. While I do know it's not just infatuation, I find it difficult to answer their question in an accurate and meaningful way. For instance, you can have a lasting affection for someone without loving them, and plus, you can love someone without being in love. How do I know if it's true love for sure?
Chococat
Chococat,
Wow, this sure is a tough question--and I predict that this man will be ancient history long before you come up with an applicable definition of what it means to be in love for you. Fortunately, your girls' question does not require you to look into your heart and determine if you are in love for real.
In a sociolinguistic sense, Chococat, your girls' question is called an illocutionary speech act. An illocutionary speech act means that your girls' question has a pragmatic function vis a vis your relationship with them, not him.
To put it another way: when your friends ask you "Chococat, are you in love?", you can translate the question as "Chococat, you are being dumb. As your friends, would you like us to a)be beacons of reason or b) smile indulgently. By saying "I am in love", you assert your social right to enjoy this man without being continuously reminded of how dumb you look while doing it.
Remember, your girl friends have an implied contract to be honest and direct with you. So when you answer their question, consider this: do you trust this man enough to forfeit your right to hear other peoples' informed reservations? do you really want to ask the girls to be as blind and dumb as you are? Again, your answer reflects your expectations for their behavior, not the introspective state of your heart.
Whether it's like, love or infatuation, Kitty's ability to reason and plan is probably going to go to sleep for awhile. Rest assured that the girls will be there when you wake up, regardless of how you chose to define your experience.
Goodbye
Kitty.
I could not finish my paper because
"I was participating in the beautiful and complex religion called "Santeria". In order to appreciate WHY I couldn't write my assignment while practicing Santeria, which is a blend of African and Cuban traditions, you will need to know some information about the ethical system and representation of god in Santeria". Ruben Quintilla, freshman
Landmark moment in English 1020: the day my students demonstrate knowledge of how to suck up to me.
Landmark moment in English 1020: the day my students demonstrate knowledge of how to suck up to me.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Why I couldn't write my paper
my students' late paper excuses for Spring/Summer 2005
I was observing a traditional holiday in my religion called the Don't Do Homework Day.
I became so excited about writing the paper that my narcolepsy kicked in.
The racist cops stopped me in Farmington Hills due to racial profiling. Unfortunately, I was dealing cocaine at the time.
The Smart bus never came.
I left my paper in southern Sudan, where it was eaten by my cousins (in an essay about the World Bank and SAP).
My pencil broke every time I tried to write my essay.
I was participating in local politics which you will note is another goal for this course as stated in the syllabus.
I cleaned out my backpack and am now hospitalized with 4 incurable diseases.
I am a woman and the demands on me in our society make it impossible for me to be a friend, parent, and scholar. I need an extension for 5-7 days.
I was observing a traditional holiday in my religion called the Don't Do Homework Day.
I became so excited about writing the paper that my narcolepsy kicked in.
The racist cops stopped me in Farmington Hills due to racial profiling. Unfortunately, I was dealing cocaine at the time.
The Smart bus never came.
I left my paper in southern Sudan, where it was eaten by my cousins (in an essay about the World Bank and SAP).
My pencil broke every time I tried to write my essay.
I was participating in local politics which you will note is another goal for this course as stated in the syllabus.
I cleaned out my backpack and am now hospitalized with 4 incurable diseases.
I am a woman and the demands on me in our society make it impossible for me to be a friend, parent, and scholar. I need an extension for 5-7 days.
million girl run
When the first test of my Simple Diet Plan happened, I bravely put the weed in my toolbox and grabbed my rollerblades in the shed.
Robyn's boyfriendorwhatever looked at me skeptically over the fence. What, he said, you go jogging 2 times and suddenly you're down with the Nation?
Robyn's boyfriendorwhatever looked at me skeptically over the fence. What, he said, you go jogging 2 times and suddenly you're down with the Nation?
le grande destin de Amelie Poulain
Now that Bill and Sharon have finally found each other, Sharon has suddenly become the Look Great Naked police.
Yesterday I was grazing peacefully through a 24 pack of Timbits and Sharon said, Wait, Hilary! What are those doughnuts going to look like when you arch your back?
Yesterday I was grazing peacefully through a 24 pack of Timbits and Sharon said, Wait, Hilary! What are those doughnuts going to look like when you arch your back?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
no matter what happens tonight,
the United States will continue to occupy Chile
Sub-Saharan Africa will go further into debt
the Rouge plant will be there in the morning
and
Asheville is 11 thousand miles away
Sub-Saharan Africa will go further into debt
the Rouge plant will be there in the morning
and
Asheville is 11 thousand miles away
Quiz: Are you Hilary, Roxanne or Lisa.
Question 1: God is approximately shaped like:
1) a phallus
2) a loving father
3) a she elephant
1) a phallus
2) a loving father
3) a she elephant
sexual etiquette
As an AI, my one social goal for the next ten hours is not to describe ANY A frame houses with my hands,
Thank GOD we don't live in Ferndale any more.
Thank GOD we don't live in Ferndale any more.
My advice is to wear long sleeves
said the girls, so you can cover those welts from your allergic reaction.
WHAT kind of girl do you think I am? I said. People can know me for years and years and still not find out what I look like without an embarassing rash of some kind.
WHAT kind of girl do you think I am? I said. People can know me for years and years and still not find out what I look like without an embarassing rash of some kind.
hey, where's the cream filling?
I hope no one is mad that I smoked down with their uncle Craig this week. He said that it was ok to tell you provided that you do not then "tell Peggy who will then tell Barbara".
Waaaait, I said slowly, which one is Peggy and which one is Barbara again?
Current weight: 120 (bullSHIT!)
commercial idea:
This is your hot body
this is your hot body stoned.
Waaaait, I said slowly, which one is Peggy and which one is Barbara again?
Current weight: 120 (bullSHIT!)
commercial idea:
This is your hot body
this is your hot body stoned.
Last night I was having an imaginary conversation with
Jesus and he said if you ditch that elephant and follow me, I will give you everlasting life.
Great, I said miserably: with Jesus I could never be granted relesease from samsara, the wheel of everlasting life and death.
Awww naaaaaw, said Jesus, you misunderstand me. I mean an everlasting life in which you help me rule the universe from heaven?
Rule? I said, from above? So now you want me to become an oppressor? Jesus, Christ. Why don't I just run away and join the British Raj?
Great, I said miserably: with Jesus I could never be granted relesease from samsara, the wheel of everlasting life and death.
Awww naaaaaw, said Jesus, you misunderstand me. I mean an everlasting life in which you help me rule the universe from heaven?
Rule? I said, from above? So now you want me to become an oppressor? Jesus, Christ. Why don't I just run away and join the British Raj?
and how do you imagine this story is going to
end? said Roxanne, for example,
what do you envision the most likely outcome to be?
Honestly? My unwavering and perpetual happiness, of course.
Of course, Roxanne said calmly, while secretly examining her bagel for its potential ability to slash tires.
what do you envision the most likely outcome to be?
Honestly? My unwavering and perpetual happiness, of course.
Of course, Roxanne said calmly, while secretly examining her bagel for its potential ability to slash tires.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
amazing findings
Unlike success in first language acquisition, success in
learning a second or foreign language is considerably more
variable. Zhendong Gan.
learning a second or foreign language is considerably more
variable. Zhendong Gan.
the foreverandever friends and me
are all now a little bit autistic and a little bit not
This weekend Neal came in the door and silently turned all his appliances back on. That's why I don't get with new people, I said and kissed him on the cheek, I can't imagine having to put these things into actual words again.
This weekend Neal came in the door and silently turned all his appliances back on. That's why I don't get with new people, I said and kissed him on the cheek, I can't imagine having to put these things into actual words again.
math
1
god
adorable haircut
developmental disability
power washer
serious crush
student in time out
2
eyebrows
emerald green hair jewels
movies overdue
trees
3
dangerous projects
garbage cans
4
best friends
lbs to lose
zillions of
tiny bumps
singed braid ends
stories
faces of god
god
adorable haircut
developmental disability
power washer
serious crush
student in time out
2
eyebrows
emerald green hair jewels
movies overdue
trees
3
dangerous projects
garbage cans
4
best friends
lbs to lose
zillions of
tiny bumps
singed braid ends
stories
faces of god
stringing people along
is not a charming behavioral problem.
I used to beleive that people trying and trying to get in touch with me meant that I was super important. Actually it meant that I was being an enormous jerk.
I used to beleive that people trying and trying to get in touch with me meant that I was super important. Actually it meant that I was being an enormous jerk.
As far as I know, my ancestors
were divided into two tribes: the sheep worshippers and the sheep eaters.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
having my hair clipped
Because, you can't have a PhD, diplomatic immunity AND homemade body adornments. Why don't you concentrate on fighting injustice (she said sarcastically) and leave the hair to me?
as for my special news,
the girls took it gracefully.
Roxanne, for example, flashed bare teeth and curled up in her chair like a dead shrimp.
For a second I thought that she might be having a seizure.
Roxanne, for example, flashed bare teeth and curled up in her chair like a dead shrimp.
For a second I thought that she might be having a seizure.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
today in English 1020
my student observed that the Trix rabbit is a Malcolm X-like hero and came up with a ypothetical commerical where he folds his arms and says he's "too cool for his own cereal":
"Fine, TAKE the cereal. It will only put you in the death grip of a capitalistic system bwahaHA. First trix, then an x box, then crystal meth".
"Fine, TAKE the cereal. It will only put you in the death grip of a capitalistic system bwahaHA. First trix, then an x box, then crystal meth".
What I like about a group of cars
traveling together is, that your friends have to keep their hands and feet to themselves and it is probably the weekend.
It did not look smart when she did it
And you do not look any smarter when you do it.
But no one tries to reason with a beaming moron
But no one tries to reason with a beaming moron
Um,
this weekend I accidentally lit myself on fire.
Current stats:
Number of eyebrows: Zero.
Number of singed two-inch twists in my hair: zillions (every time I see that word I want to throw up).
Theme of hair project #2: Bonsai tree
Current art project(s): Learning to draw eyebrows.
Current stats:
Number of eyebrows: Zero.
Number of singed two-inch twists in my hair: zillions (every time I see that word I want to throw up).
Theme of hair project #2: Bonsai tree
Current art project(s): Learning to draw eyebrows.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
what if
you were the only giraffe that lived in a particular zoo? You must not have even known that you were confined and lonely, but you did not exacly thrive. So the zookeepers throw a quilt over your wire cage and put you on a cargo plane to Gambia.
The next thing you know, you are being stared down by another giraffe that is grazing quietly on the plain.
For a very long time, you would probably be convinced that that giraffe killed all the other animals in the zoo.
The next thing you know, you are being stared down by another giraffe that is grazing quietly on the plain.
For a very long time, you would probably be convinced that that giraffe killed all the other animals in the zoo.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Friday, May 20, 2005
in the heart of the heart of the heart of the country
Then my dad was playing a Zagger acoustic guitar on the porch and we sang extremely relevant songs by Cat Stevens such as
peace train
wild world
moonshadow
blackbird (note: not by Cat Stevens)
and I made up extra verses to moonshadow such as
and if I ever loose my keys, oh yeah, I will not have to go up to my office.
and if the SUV backs over me, oh yeah, I will not have to make tough judgement calls, oh yeah, because I will be forced to crawl toward sin at a snails' pace.
Oh yeab.
Yeah.
Mmm hmm.
peace train
wild world
moonshadow
blackbird (note: not by Cat Stevens)
and I made up extra verses to moonshadow such as
and if I ever loose my keys, oh yeah, I will not have to go up to my office.
and if the SUV backs over me, oh yeah, I will not have to make tough judgement calls, oh yeah, because I will be forced to crawl toward sin at a snails' pace.
Oh yeab.
Yeah.
Mmm hmm.
likes and dislikes
likes (in descending order)
god, any.
hip hop music
pet turtles.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
girls
My AI clothes (overalls and a soft shirt)
boys
my naked body
fjr in mens' pants
SharonRoxanneNealStacieJulie
dislikes
lying
unstructured free time
heavy metal guitars
sirens
ambiguity
dogs
downriver
god, any.
hip hop music
pet turtles.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
girls
My AI clothes (overalls and a soft shirt)
boys
my naked body
fjr in mens' pants
SharonRoxanneNealStacieJulie
dislikes
lying
unstructured free time
heavy metal guitars
sirens
ambiguity
dogs
downriver
(yes)
The elephant god was watching Hilary in case Hilary's soul got wedged on a roof somewhere or stuck in deep shit. (Probably take you ten thousand years to get out). But this time Hilary was too cool for the infinite compassion of god. In her secret heart Hilary pitied those lameass resource room girls like Sarah L.and the other sister in The Other Sister, who never risked having to scrape peices of their souls off ashphalt.
I am not a retard, Hilary said to herself aloud for the ten thousand twenty millionth time, and I do not have to be like those dumb triangles in flatland.
(In flatland the special needs triangles lived strapped to the floor for other people to feel. Hilary hated them).
Well sure, said Hilary's mom on the phone. Good greif. Hilary's mom said she thought it was not becoming for a young woman to struggle morbidly with matters of the heart.
Hilary and her father sat on the deck drinking Frangelico. Young lady, said Hilary's father sharply, watch your pride.
The thing about intelligent choices is that they feel cold to the touch, like a park bench not a person, like an ox shaped drum that is not going to be stricken by a mallett wrapped in cotton any time soon.
I am not a retard, Hilary said to herself aloud for the ten thousand twenty millionth time, and I do not have to be like those dumb triangles in flatland.
(In flatland the special needs triangles lived strapped to the floor for other people to feel. Hilary hated them).
Well sure, said Hilary's mom on the phone. Good greif. Hilary's mom said she thought it was not becoming for a young woman to struggle morbidly with matters of the heart.
Hilary and her father sat on the deck drinking Frangelico. Young lady, said Hilary's father sharply, watch your pride.
The thing about intelligent choices is that they feel cold to the touch, like a park bench not a person, like an ox shaped drum that is not going to be stricken by a mallett wrapped in cotton any time soon.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
notebook/computers
Hilary stared out over the tops of her students' heads, scrutinizing in particular the way their hair was sectioned.
The computer classroom was oppressively warm.
Hilary felt like invisible paws were smothering her breath. OK, she gasped, has anyone seen this word?
She reached for chalk. There is no chalk in the computer classroom. There is a whiteboard but you have to buy your own marker and bring it.
Hilary took out her Hello Kitty diary and frog pen and scrawled the word
OPPRESSION
She held up the notebook like a sign.
This is a class about writing, she said, to get around the system and fight oppression.
The computer classroom was oppressively warm.
Hilary felt like invisible paws were smothering her breath. OK, she gasped, has anyone seen this word?
She reached for chalk. There is no chalk in the computer classroom. There is a whiteboard but you have to buy your own marker and bring it.
Hilary took out her Hello Kitty diary and frog pen and scrawled the word
OPPRESSION
She held up the notebook like a sign.
This is a class about writing, she said, to get around the system and fight oppression.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
art project
best moments:
"OK this is no longer a 100 percent organic project.. What I need is glue that could fix a tear in the fabric of space time. What I need is a welding arc".
When my phone rang, and I grabbed it, and my hands got glued to the phone, and the gluey phone picked up the braid ends.
Current affirmations: My phone has dreadlocks.
"OK this is no longer a 100 percent organic project.. What I need is glue that could fix a tear in the fabric of space time. What I need is a welding arc".
When my phone rang, and I grabbed it, and my hands got glued to the phone, and the gluey phone picked up the braid ends.
Current affirmations: My phone has dreadlocks.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
ick
ick
Yesterday I woke up lying in my own throw up, and also it got inside my sinus cavity.
Current affirmations:
I will clean all the vomit off the bathroom fixtures.
Now is a good time to start fasting again
ick cubed
my best friend has flesh eating bacteria growing on her.
Yesterday I woke up lying in my own throw up, and also it got inside my sinus cavity.
Current affirmations:
I will clean all the vomit off the bathroom fixtures.
Now is a good time to start fasting again
ick cubed
my best friend has flesh eating bacteria growing on her.
Commercial Break
Hilary's Eastside Braiding Salon
-Zero professional braiders
-dangerously inexperienced
-stoners with scizzors
-Ancient "Whatever it takes" attachment method: knots/spirit gum/ chemicals/glue/welding arc.
"I'm not looking for a parental figure in a god. I have enough parents...but what I do not have is a pet elephant".
-Zero professional braiders
-dangerously inexperienced
-stoners with scizzors
-Ancient "Whatever it takes" attachment method: knots/spirit gum/ chemicals/glue/welding arc.
"I'm not looking for a parental figure in a god. I have enough parents...but what I do not have is a pet elephant".
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